IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that governments need to invest money in cosmic research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no denying the fact that cosimc researching has become very popular in recent years.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that governments invested
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 in cosimic discovered .there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
apposes
Correct your spelling
opposes
 it
.in
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
 my opinion ,I consider that responses require
to invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
 money in cosimc sector
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 more benefits than
drwabacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
.

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task response
Write more of your answer. Now, your essay is too short, so the main idea is not fully shown.
task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this clear all through the essay.
task response
Add main reasons for your view. Each reason needs a short explanation.
task response
Use one or two real or clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easy to follow. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Write a clear ending that repeats your main view in new words.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and full stops. Some parts are hard to follow now.
task response
You gave a clear topic in the first line.
task response
You showed your opinion, and this is important in this kind of essay.
coherence and cohesion
You tried to write an introduction.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words like while and in my opinion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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