IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The news has an increasing impact on people's lives and has never been this influential before. why is this the case? is this positive or negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
News
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in society as it is a main source that makes
people
Use synonyms
 aware of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 interconnected
world
Use synonyms
. With the help of the renovation in the field of technology,
people
Use synonyms
 are now able to get information.
Although
Linking Words
 it may have some drawbacks, I believe it has a number of different advantages. In
this
Linking Words
 interconnected
world
Use synonyms
, there are a variety of types of
news
Use synonyms
. The core driving reason why
news
Use synonyms
 is widespread is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 development in the digital
world
Use synonyms
.
News
Use synonyms
 is always cast, whether on TV or social media. Social media,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, has a large contribution towards sharing
news
Use synonyms
. Influencers provide information about events that happened overseas. Even though individuals are located in different countries, they acquire information and occasions without even being there. On the one hand, in the past,
people
Use synonyms
 had access to
news
Use synonyms
 through local TV programs, and it was the beginning of the
news
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 didn't have an opportunity to watch at any time, as
news
Use synonyms
 was only broadcast at a specific time. Getting
news
Use synonyms
 on radios or
tv
Fix capitalization
TV
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 could spend their time by listening to or watching them
while
Linking Words
 doing their chores.
However
Linking Words
, not all
news
Use synonyms
 is appropriate
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some of it
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 just conjecture, or others are completely fake. Some naive members of society can believe it
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of knowledge about electronics, creating some misunderstanding or confusion. Regardless of their drawbacks,
news
Use synonyms
 is essential for us, and it is one part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. It allows us to keep in touch with the rest of the
world
Use synonyms
, meaning that it opens new doors, especially for students. Students can know when to apply for universities, and what they require for entrance. In conclusion,
news
Use synonyms
 is a chance to connect with the
world
Use synonyms
, it makes
people
Use synonyms
 aware, and it helps
people
Use synonyms
 make informed decisions in their daily lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both parts more clearly. You explain why news is strong now, but your view on positive or negative is not fully direct in each body part.
task response
Give one or two clear examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some points are good, but they stop too soon.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer plan: one body paragraph for why this happens, and one body paragraph for why it is positive or negative.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more carefully. Some sentences jump too fast, so the reader has to work hard.
coherence and cohesion
Make paragraph focus stronger. A few sentences do not fully match the main point of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a short conclusion.
task response
You give a clear main view: news has more good points than bad points.
task response
You include real-life areas like social media, TV, and students, which helps your essay feel practical.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: