You recently visited a local sports club and found some issues with the facilities. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter: - Explain why you visited the club - Describe the issues you found - Suggest improvements

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Dear Manager, I hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
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email to share my concern regarding the facilities that you mentioned in the sports
club
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. I have visited recently to join your sports
club
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. I found good reviews on your website and decided to look first before joining the
club
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. I am really impressed with your services and friendly environment in the
club
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.
However
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, I am disappointed with your badminton coach, who mainly focuses on the trained and well-played players rather than every member.
In addition
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, I particularly want to develop my badminton skills, and for that reason, I have visited and am eager to join. I would like to suggest some improvements in your
club
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regarding these issues.
Firstly
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, you should focus on every participant who joined the
club
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.
Moreover
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, you have to hire more trainers so they can focus on more people.
Overall
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, I was satisfied visiting there, and thank you for giving attention to my issue. Yours faithfully, Dharm

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task response
Say more about the club problems. The letter talks mostly about the coach, but the task asks about the facilities too.
task response
Make your reason for visiting more clear in one simple line at the start.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words like First, Also, and Finally to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph to one main point only. One part mixes good points and problem points together.
task response
You answered all three parts of the task: why you went, what problem you saw, and what you think the club should do.
task response
The tone is polite and right for a letter to a manager.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear opening and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow most of the time.
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