Part 2 In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In Great Britain, some old people mostly move into a home,
while
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others move into a place with their peers, where nurses are present to look after them. In
this
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essay, I will discuss why I believe that the
government
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must pay for their
care
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. People pay large amounts of taxes throughout their lives, believing that the
government
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will provide them with the infrastructure that
would
Wrong verb form
will
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benefit them.
Therefore
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, the hard-earned
money
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of these taxpayers must be used to provide them with the
care
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that they deserve.
However
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, if the
government
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were liable to pay
such
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medical expenses, it might have to reallocate its budget, as the elderly population in Britain is large.
This
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could result in spending a large amount of
money
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to
care
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for these individuals. The
care
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provided by these homes or nurses to these individuals might be expensive, and in some cases, they might need someone to look after them constantly. In
such
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scenarios,
families
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with low incomes might struggle to afford the fees. They might have to do a second job or reduce their spending to save
money
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for the family members who need
care
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.
This
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might not be a feasible option, especially for
families
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with children, as childcare is costly and taxes are high in Britain.
Families
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might have to undergo financial turmoil to be able to pay for the
care
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. The elderly might not want to push their family into
such
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a position, and may refuse to receive the
care
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that they require.
Therefore
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, I believe that the
government
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must pay for the
care
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that the old citizens require.
Families
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might try to financially assist them with the
care
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, but
this
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could be hard for low-income
families
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.
Although
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they might struggle with the budget, the
government
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has sufficient resources available through the taxpayers'
money
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. So, I would suggest that the
government
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must pay for the
care
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.

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task response
For task response: Your answer is clear, but you should add one or two more direct reasons for why the state should pay. This will make your main idea stronger.
task response
For task response: You talk about low income families well, but you do not give a real example from your life or from a known case. Add a short example to make the essay more full.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. But some ideas repeat, like money problems for families. Try to group similar points in one place.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Use a few more linking words such as 'for example', 'as a result', and 'on the other hand' to show the path of your ideas more clearly.
task response
For task response: You answer the question directly and clearly say that the government should pay.
task response
For task response: Your ideas are on topic and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: The essay is well ordered with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Most sentences connect well, and the reader can follow your opinion easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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