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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The Table shows how many international students study in Canada and the United States by country of origin. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

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The tables provide information on the number of international
students
Use synonyms
 and their origins studying in the USA and
Canada
Use synonyms
 from 2002 to 2003,
as well as
Linking Words
 the percentage
increase
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the greatest
increase
Use synonyms
 in overseas
students
Use synonyms
 could be seen in
Canada
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 America showed the slowest
increase
Use synonyms
 over the two years. Despite a decrease in Indian student intake, America remained the most popular study abroad destination.
Canada
Use synonyms
 saw a moderate rise of 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in Chinese
students
Use synonyms
, reaching 7850 in 2003.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the number
also
Linking Words
 climbed considerably for Indian
students
Use synonyms
 by 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. America
also
Linking Words
 saw a 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 in Chinese
students
Use synonyms
 studying in the country in 2003;
however
Linking Words
, noticeably fewer Indian
students
Use synonyms
 came to the US, by 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Regardless of percentage changes, the United States had nearly 600 thousand overseas
students
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
 had a little more than 70 thousand in 2003. Interestingly, American and Canadian
students
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 participated in a student exchange program.
Canada
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 experienced a 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 rise in American
students
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the US had a 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 in Canadian
students
Use synonyms
 in 2003.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, canada, increase, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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