Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Over the past few years, the exploitation of advertising on social media has been growing exponentially around the world. Some
people
believe that advertising has an influence on purchases of things. Other
people
claim that advertising does not have an impact on buying things.
This
essay will
further
elaborate my views for
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
the impacts and
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, advertising is a key for modern business and a form of modern art. Nowadays, advertising plays a fundamental role in every business.
Furthermore
, a considerable amount of huge or small businesses and companies and manufacturers need advertising to show and present their productions.
Thus
, advertising is a facilitative approach for
people
to choose a good product, and without advertising, we have less choice so, a great deal of individuals enjoy adverts.
For example
, nowadays, we see plenty of big companies that can grow by advertising, like Alibaba company at
first,
this
was a small online business, but now
this
company is a famous and big company by advertising all around the world.
On the other hand
, a remarkable amount of
people
assume that It aims to persuade
people
that buying a product will make them happier.
However
, nowadays we live in a consumer culture and many companies can alter
people
's minds about their lifestyles.
Moreover
, advertising often aims their marketing at children and causes children to put pressure on their parents to buy them things.
For instance
, advertising uses glamorous, successful
people
and
this
causes many
people
to be impacted by
this
advertising and follow the latest trends. In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that advertising is a good way to present and show the product, but we should not forget that false advertising can have a bad impact on
people
and children.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt at all times. While your introduction broadly outlines your position, you could enhance task achievement by explicitly discussing the persuasion effectiveness and commonality of advertising in your introduction to directly align with the question's focus.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples. Your essay mentions general concepts and instances, such as the success of Alibaba through advertising. Consider including statistics, surveys, or specific case studies to make your examples more compelling and directly related to the essay prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by varying your sentence structures more and using a wider range of linking words. This helps to create a smoother flow of ideas and contributes to a more coherent argument structure. Additionally, ensure that paragraphs are well-organized with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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