Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Over the past few years, the exploitation of advertising on social media has been growing exponentially around the world. Some

people

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believe that advertising has an influence on purchases of things. Other

people

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claim that advertising does not have an impact on buying things.

This

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essay will

further

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elaborate my views for

favoring

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favouring

show examples

the impacts and

thus

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, will lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand, advertising is a key for modern business and a form of modern art. Nowadays, advertising plays a fundamental role in every business.

Furthermore

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, a considerable amount of huge or small businesses and companies and manufacturers need advertising to show and present their productions.

Thus

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, advertising is a facilitative approach for

people

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to choose a good product, and without advertising, we have less choice so, a great deal of individuals enjoy adverts.

For example

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, nowadays, we see plenty of big companies that can grow by advertising, like Alibaba company at

first,

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this

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was a small online business, but now

this

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company is a famous and big company by advertising all around the world.

On the other hand

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, a remarkable amount of

people

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assume that It aims to persuade

people

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that buying a product will make them happier.

However

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, nowadays we live in a consumer culture and many companies can alter

people

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's minds about their lifestyles.

Moreover

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, advertising often aims their marketing at children and causes children to put pressure on their parents to buy them things.

For instance

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, advertising uses glamorous, successful

people

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and

this

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causes many

people

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to be impacted by

this

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advertising and follow the latest trends. In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that advertising is a good way to present and show the product, but we should not forget that false advertising can have a bad impact on

people

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and children.

mojgan.sobhaniTue Feb 20 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your score, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt at all times. While your introduction broadly outlines your position, you could enhance task achievement by explicitly discussing the persuasion effectiveness and commonality of advertising in your introduction to directly align with the question's focus.

Task Achievement

Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples. Your essay mentions general concepts and instances, such as the success of Alibaba through advertising. Consider including statistics, surveys, or specific case studies to make your examples more compelling and directly related to the essay prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by varying your sentence structures more and using a wider range of linking words. This helps to create a smoother flow of ideas and contributes to a more coherent argument structure. Additionally, ensure that paragraphs are well-organized with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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