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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, the
age
Use synonyms
 difference between
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
 has been increasing day by day.
Although
Linking Words
 with
this
Linking Words
 trend,
parents
Use synonyms
 will become strong financially and set up their own businesses,
while
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
 will have to work alone in future to make their business successful.
This
Linking Words
 trend outweighs the disadvantages despite their advantages. On the one hand,
due to
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 a high
age
Use synonyms
gap
Use synonyms
 between
children
Use synonyms
 and
parents
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
 will have enough time to make money for their
children
Use synonyms
. To illustrate,
parents
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 will work hard on different jobs to make more money, and when they have kids, they can provide them good education and health benefits from their savings.
For instance
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, as per a recent report, 90% of kids are educated who have a greater
gap
Use synonyms
 between their
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
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 because their
parents
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 gave them study from high reputated institutes.
On the other hand
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, there are many disadvantages of an
age
Use synonyms
 difference between
parents
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 and
children
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.
Firstly
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,
parents
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 and
children
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 can fight with each other
due to
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 an
age
Use synonyms
gap
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. To clarify,
parents
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 will think about their
children
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's careers based on
old
Correct article usage
an old
show examples
 perspective
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's ideas will be on modern technology.
As a result
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, verbally fight will start in that house
due to
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 opposing ideas. To recapitulate,
due to
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 a high
age
Use synonyms
gap
Use synonyms
 between
children
Use synonyms
 and
parents
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
 will have more money for better education for their kids ,
whereas
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parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
 will oppose each other's ideas. The disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh its advantages

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task response
Give one clear answer from the start and keep the same view to the end.
task response
Explain why the good points are stronger or why the bad points are stronger with more detail.
task response
Use one or two simple and real examples. Do not use weak number facts if they are not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one main idea and support it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like first, also, however, as a result, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that your last line matches your opinion in the body and the start.
task response
You answered the main topic and talked about both good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some link words are used, such as On the one hand, Firstly, and As a result.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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