Some people think that private schools have many advantages while others think there have many drawbacks for the community. Discuss both sides and give an opinion

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In today’s educational landscape, there is a significant evolution in the complex dynamics of school types. Some individuals contend that private educational

institutions

offer distinct advantages,

while

others dispute

this

perspective. I hold the view that,

although

there are numerous benefits associated with private

schools

, these

institutions

also

present certain drawbacks. On one hand, private

schools

typically offer superior facilities, including access to high-quality resources

such

as clean water and appropriate equipment for various subjects.

For instance

, biology labs may be equipped with specimens like skeletons and small animals,

while

physics labs provide the necessary apparatus for hands-on experimentation.

Furthermore

, these

institutions

often emphasize extracurricular activities that promote mental development and cultural awareness.

According to

a survey conducted by a reputable newspaper, 70

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of 100 respondents who attended private

schools

demonstrated higher performance on IQ tests, highlighting the positive impact of

such

educational environments on cognitive development and cultural education.

On the other hand

, private

schools

often implement a complex fee structure, which can lead to significant financial strain on families as they manage tuition costs.

Additionally

, these

institutions

generally uphold strict policies and disciplinary measures, which can create considerable stress for students.

Moreover

, there tends to be a stronger emphasis on academic grades rather than on the development of essential skills.

Consequently

, it is evident that private educational

institutions

have notable drawbacks that warrant consideration. In conclusion,

while

private

schools

certainly contribute to the enhancement of students’ mental capabilities and cultural understanding, it is imperative to acknowledge their associated challenges.

Submitted by sangeetakamboz on Wed Nov 20 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Use more varied linking phrases and transition words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, instead of frequently using 'on one hand... on the other hand,' try alternatives like 'While some argue that... others believe that...' to maintain coherence.

Task Achievement

Don't forget to delve a bit deeper into examples or reasons for each point made to further strengthen your argument. This will help provide more depth and clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both clearly presented, giving the essay a strong opening and closing.

Task Achievement

You have done well with providing a balanced discussion by exploring both sides of the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Logical organization of ideas is evident, as each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Some people think that private schools have many advantages while others think there have many drawbacks for the community. Discuss both sides and give an opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people think that the government should spend more money on providing faster and cheaper means of public transport.some others think that there are important factors to take in consideration like (fuel,cost and environment) Discuss both views and give your opinion?

othere think secondary school students should study inter Dions both these views and gie your while others belleve that tary school studi valuable school time. Discuss both these side

In many Country Most of the people using there cells phone to pay there bill. Describe advantiges and disadvantiges.

Libraries should focus on improving their technological resources rather than in building a larger collection of paper books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behoviour in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?