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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows data on populations in four countries living in the city from 1970 to 204p

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The graph illustrates the data on populations in four countries living in the city from 1970 to
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
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 with the prediction for 2030 and 2040.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 the rate of
population
Use synonyms
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 slightly decreased from 1990 to 2010, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of urban
population
Use synonyms
 in
four
Correct article usage
the four
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 countries increased in 2020 compared to 1970.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of urban
population
Use synonyms
 is expected to rise until 2040. Among the four countries, Malaysia showed the highest increase between 1970 and 2020. The ratio was approximately 30% in 1970, which rose to about 75% in 2020.
In addition
Linking Words
, an expectation of the
percenetage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in cities exceeded 80% in 2040. The rate of the city
population
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 steadily increased in Thailand and Indonesia from 1970 to 2020. Meanwhile, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
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population
Use synonyms
 in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 considerably declined between 1990 and 2010.
Although
Linking Words
 the rate decreased briefly in the middle, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 rose in 2020 compared to 1970, and it is expected to rise steadily until 2040.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, in addition".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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