Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A few folks think that if a nation is already wealthy,
further
Linking Words
economic expansion will not
result
Use synonyms
in its civilisation being any happier. I strongly disagree with
this
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said
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
notion because evolution improve cashflow in the market and enhances the lifestyle of
people
Use synonyms
.
Result
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, they can enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life. To commence with all disagreement that, if Government spend on economic advancement in a nation where
all
Correct determiner usage
the entire
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population were wealthy, it is wastage of time and resources of
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
.
In other words
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,
Privileged
Correct article usage
the privileged
show examples
crowd are happily living their life with the close
ones
Punctuation problem
ones,
show examples
they do not need improvement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
For Instance
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, in Japan, the higher authority spent 5 million in human Insurance policy so they obtain more benefits from that.
Thus
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,
people
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do not show interest
and
Change preposition
in or
show examples
purchase the policy.
On the other hand
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, New policies and rule enhances the health of citizens. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, legislation comes with modern laws and activities which are beneficial for the country.
Moreover
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,Governments invest in the healthcare sector and Public Transport.
For example
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, 60% Population were live happily in Spain because govenment improved the medical service, which
result
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people
Use synonyms
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
emergency service and medicine in
least
Correct word choice
less
show examples
time
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then
Use the right word
than
show examples
before.
Hence
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,
this
Linking Words
improves the well-being of the nation.
To conclude
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,
although
Linking Words
spending money on economic development is wasteful.
However
Linking Words
, with
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
policy ,
people
Use synonyms
were joyfull life and it benefical they acquire fastest
result
Use synonyms
in the medical field.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the question from the start and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are too short or not fully clear.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more closely linked to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part focus on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some are used in the wrong place.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence follows the one before in a clear order.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction.
task response
You include examples from countries to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use linking words like 'for example' and 'on the other hand'.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
What to do next:
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