IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effect of this?

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People
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 nowadays consume far more processed
food
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 than they did in the past.
This
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 essay will discuss the main reasons for
this
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 trend and explain its negative effects on
people
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’s
health
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.
To begin
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 with, the primary reason why
people
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 eat more processed
food
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 is their busy lifestyle. In modern society, many individuals work long hours and have little free time to prepare meals at home.
As a result
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, they prefer convenient foods that can be cooked quickly.
Food
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 companies
also
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 produce a wide variety of ready-made meals to satisfy
this
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 growing demand.
For example
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, many
people
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 choose frozen meals or instant noodles because they are cheap and require only a few minutes to prepare.
Therefore
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, processed
food
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 has become a common part of daily life.
However
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,
this
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 habit has several harmful effects on human
health
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. Processed foods often contain high levels of sugar, salt, fat, and artificial chemicals, which can lead to serious illnesses
such
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 as obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.
In addition
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,
people
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 who regularly consume unhealthy
food
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 may feel tired and less energetic.
This
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 can negatively affect their productivity and
overall
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 quality of life.
For instance
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, recent
health
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 reports show that the number of
people
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 suffering from diet-related diseases has increased significantly over the
last
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 decade. In conclusion,
people
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 tend to eat more processed
food
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 because they have busy schedules and limited time for cooking.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 trend can seriously damage
people
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’s
health
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 and lead to various long-term
health
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 problems

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task response
For task response: You answer both why and effects, so your essay is on topic. To get a higher score, add one more cause or one more effect with a bit more detail.
task response
For task response: Your ideas are clear, but some parts are general. Try to explain how processed food changes daily life in a more full way.
task response
For task response: Your example is relevant, but it is a bit general. A more clear and real example would make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-part shape: start, cause, effect, end. This is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: You use linking words like 'To begin with', 'As a result', 'However', and 'In conclusion' well. For a higher score, do not use too many set phrases.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Most main points are supported, but you can make each body part longer with one more supporting idea.
task response
You answer both parts of the question clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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