IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the ages of people when they got married in one particular country in 1996 and 2008.

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The bar charts illustrate the data about
ages
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
 of men and women who married in four nations
namely
Punctuation problem
, namely
show examples
,
Belgium
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and Australia
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 1997 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
, at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 men in
Use synonyms
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
 showed the highest proportion, women
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest percentage
recorded
Verb problem
was recorded
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
belgium
Fix capitalization
Belgium
show examples
 in both genders. Look at the details of the men aged from 60 to 64.
Japan
Use synonyms
 was dominated by around 85% in 1970
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 numbers decreased by about 12% in 2000. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the period in
USA
Use synonyms
 and
Belgium
Use synonyms
 experienced nearly similar figures at 80% and 79% respectively before
droping
Correct your spelling
dropping
 in 2000,
Use synonyms
Belgium the
Check wording
Belgium's
show examples
 numbers drastically decreased at 19%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 recorded
slightly
Replace the word
a slight
 fall by 30%. Australia
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 up approximately 75% in 1970
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
nevertheless
Linking Words
, after 30 years
later
Punctuation problem
, later
show examples
 figerus dropped and stood at around 42%. As for women, in 1970
Belgium
Use synonyms
made up
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest proportion among the other countries by only 8%
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
and
this
Linking Words
 figure slightly dipped at 6%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the century.
USA
Use synonyms
 stood
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 first place by about 46
%
Punctuation problem
%,
show examples
followed by
Japan
Use synonyms
 at 43% in 1970
, after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 numbers decreased by 7% and 4% in 2000. Meanwhile, Australia demonstrates
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 rise by 6% in 2000 before staying at around 16% in 1970.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words belgium, usa, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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