IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

it is important for children learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction

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In today’s world,
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This
Fix capitalization
this
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 is the crux of the matter that young people should comprehend the
ditinction
Correct your spelling
distinction
 between right and wrong during their formative years, a lesson that
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
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 them throughout their lives.
However
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,I am of the opinion that punishing
children
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 is not an effective way of
upbringing
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raising
children
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 and
this
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result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
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 in dtrimental effect on their cognitive ability.In
this
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 essay
shall I
Correct word order
, I shall
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 explore both
of the perception
Fix the agreement mistake
perceptions
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 beforehand
coming
Punctuation problem
, coming
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 to a conclusion. On the one hand, it is widely believed that, at the beginning of
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
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process
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process,
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 every person could have made
mistake
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mistakes
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 and it can not be achieved perfectly.
Hence
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, relying on
punishment
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 as a teaching method can have
notably
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notable
 improvements
on
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in
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children
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’s ability.One of the obvious reasons is that
,
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apply
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 positioning
punishment
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 may foster
child’s
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a child’s
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 cognitive development.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 build disciplined atmosphere from a young age
where
Correct pronoun usage
, which
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 can have benefits in the long-term.
Further
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 justification is that
,
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apply
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 young citizens who grow up in
disciplined
Correct article usage
a disciplined
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 environment perform better
on
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in
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 their professions.
On the other hand
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, despite punishing
children
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 for their mistakes can have advantages in the long-term,
this
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 could result in
chronis
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chronic
 stress
anxiety
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, anxiety
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 and fear of making mistakes.The main argument of
this
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iewpoint
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viewpoint
is
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punishment
Correct word choice
that punishment
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tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to perpetuate negative reinforcement,instilling
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
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 of fear that discourages
children
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 from reassessing their beliefs and
behaviors
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behaviours
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 as they mature.These beliefs can undermine their
selt- confidence
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
 and ability to
independent
Verb problem
make independent
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 decisions in adulthood.
To conclude
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, even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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punishment
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play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 a pivotal role in raising young citizens,
this
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 can reduce their confidence and result in fear of making decisions independently.
Instead
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, parents and educators should nurture a supportive environment where
children
Use synonyms
 learn through guidance and experience

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say why you agree or disagree, and keep this idea strong in all parts.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main point only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like first, for example, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order, so each idea follows the last one in a clear way.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both sides of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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