IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two graphs below show the average hours of daily sunshine and temperature throughout the year in two cities in Australia.

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The two line graphs
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the average
hours
Use synonyms
 of daily
sunshine
Use synonyms
 and
temperature
Use synonyms
 in 12 months in Australia's urban areas, namely,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and
Darwin
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
temperature
Use synonyms
 in both cities showed
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 figure,
while
Linking Words
sunshine
Use synonyms
 experienced fluctuations throughout the
year
Use synonyms
. Focusing
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 details of
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Melbourne
Punctuation problem
Melbourne,
show examples
 the figure rose from 6
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
 to 18
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
half
Check wording
middle
show examples
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, after that
hours
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
dropped by around 6
hours
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, in
Darwin
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
show examples
 at the
beginnig
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 is 18
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
before
Punctuation problem
, before
show examples
 reaching its
pick
Use the right word
peak
show examples
 by 30
hours
Use synonyms
 in
august
Fix capitalization
August
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 numbers
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 by 9
hours
Use synonyms
 and
stood
Wrong verb form
stand
show examples
 at 21
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
 in
december
Fix capitalization
December
show examples
. As for
sunshine
Use synonyms
, in both
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and
Darwin
Use synonyms
, the
hours
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 10 and 6
hours
Use synonyms
 respectively in
january
Fix capitalization
January
show examples
. After 4 months
later
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 the
sunshine
Use synonyms
 in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 recorded
fall
Correct article usage
a fall
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 slightly 4
hours
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 from
may
Fix capitalization
May
show examples
 to september and
this
Linking Words
 figure stayed the same before reaching its previous hour at 10.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
sunshine
Use synonyms
 in
Darwin
Use synonyms
 demonstrates
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 from the beginning of the
year
Use synonyms
 to
july
Fix capitalization
July
show examples
 by approximately 5
hours
Use synonyms
 a
day
Use synonyms
. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 the data is
level
Wrong verb form
levelled
show examples
 out to
september
Fix capitalization
September
show examples
 and showed a
little dropping
Check wording
slight drop
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 stood at 8
hours
Use synonyms
 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, sunshine, temperature, melbourne, darwin, year, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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