Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of school children is to make physical education compulsory in all schools. Others, however, think that this would have little effect on overall health and other measures are needed. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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this

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fast-paced world, some opine that physical literacy should be mandatory in every institute,

while

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others

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apply

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consider that it is not effective

overall

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, and other matters are important. Both sides will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs, and I believe the foremost statement. On the one hand, physical exercise is important for all

age

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ages

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of people, as

students

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are one of them. So, they should start exercising from

school

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, where they are being polished, and learn neccesery thing needed.

Also

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school

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is the place

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where

students

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make their base core strong, and build natural habits.

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, if they are getting guidance from

school

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on physical exercise, they will make it their habit. It will strengthen their body and mind.

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ensures discipline and a healthy life.

On the other hand

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, there are a lot of things

students

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have to learn in

school

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. Academic studies are hard for many of them. Unless they have free time, they are stuck in books, memorising a lot of

materials

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This

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makes the situation tight for many children.

In addition

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, many parents do not have enough time to spend on their child, so they hope

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that

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school

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will take full responsibily of

students

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' studies.

For

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this

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reason, they think

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school

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schools

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should focus on academic education and other important measures, not on physical improvement. In conclusion,

although

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teaching physical education in

school

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has a

little disadvantage

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few disadvantages

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. I reiterate my opinion that it helps to build discipline, and healty body and mind.

sgrtamimme

May 20, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about exercise, but the other side is not well developed.

task response

Give a clear opinion in the end and keep it the same through the essay.

task response

Add one or two real and clear examples to support your main ideas.

task response

Use topic words from the question, like health, well-being, and school children, to stay closer to the task.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear paragraph plan, which is good.

coherence and cohesion

Some links are basic or not fully correct. Use simple linking words well: on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, therefore, in conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice. Make each sentence short and clear.

coherence and cohesion

Support each main point with a clear reason or example so the reader can follow your ideas more easily.

task response

You answer both views and give your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use clear paragraphing and some linking words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
general well-being
physical fitness
mental health
a healthy lifestyle
teamwork
discipline
dietary issues
holistic health programs
nutritional education
inclusive environments
multifaceted approach
fostering a culture
mental health support

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