In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone app is becoming increasingly common. Does these development have more advantages or disadvantages?

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Recently, there has been a growing trend of online
purchase
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purchases
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for
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of
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products in different countries.
Although
,
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apply
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this
make
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makes
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purchase
Add an article
a purchase
the purchase
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of essential products quicker and easier, it could potentially result in shopping addiction.
While
there are various advantages and
disdvantages
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disadvantages
associated with
this
topic, I am of the opinion that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Online shopping has become increasingly popular
due to
the ease it provides to many individuals. With just one click, one could buy essential goods effortlessly,
thus
saving time and energy normally wasted on tedious in-store shopping.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, daily expenditure
couldbe
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could be
better monitored, as there
is
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are
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usually detailed records of purchased items, removing the burden of having to do it oneself.
Nevertheless
, there are some negative effects associated with these one-click
purchase
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purchases
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. The result of
increase
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increased
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time being
spend
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spent
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on mobile phones could be a phone- or to be more specific, shopping addiction. The more the
accesibility
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accessibility
of wares online, the increased
likelyhood
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likelihood
of
the
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apply
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buying non-essential products, which could eventually lead to hoarding.
Moreover
,
this
could
also
be linked to a decline in the mental health of people
as a consequence
of reduced human
interraction
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interaction
. That being said, these issues can easily be solved by having a balance in online- and in-store
transaction
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transactions
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and
also
, shopping over mobile phones could be limited to the
purchase
of essential and
time sensitive
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time-sensitive
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goods.
Although
,
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apply
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there are certain issues that may arise when buying articles online, there is
also
a plethora of positive effects. I believe people should
the
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have the
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option of opting out of the
hassel
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hassle
and the high demands of shopping in person.
Submitted by lolaadeoje on

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task achievement
You should ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. The question specifically asks whether the development of paying for things using mobile phone apps has more advantages or disadvantages. You have mentioned online purchase and shopping which is relevant, but could tangent too far from mobile payment apps. You should also try to provide a more balanced view before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the connection between ideas could be stronger. Try to use a variety of linking words and cohesive devices to ensure a smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon with examples and analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contactless transactions
  • Mobile wallet
  • Biometric authentication
  • Fraud prevention
  • Digital divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Financial inclusion
  • Spending habits
  • E-wallet
  • Encryption
  • Digital literacy
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
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