IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some nations ,they have the option to import food fr all around the glob. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

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Nowadays, some countries are allowed to import
food
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 from foreign nations,
this
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 measure has positive and negative impacts on the local economy.
This
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 essay believes that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. First of all, looking into the positive aspects, when a country is allowed to import
food
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, the local
market
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 becomes more competitive,
therefore
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, local
producers
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 need to drop the
prices
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 making it cheaper for
consumers
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. Another advantage is that customers have more options available to buy,
therefore
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, they can choose the type of
food
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 they want to consume as their style. On the other side of view, the drawbacks, local
producers
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 could transit cost issues as sometimes imported
food
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 is cheaper than actually the local costs, reducing the incentives to produce locally. Analyzing the positive aspects, we can notice that open economies around the world are more competitive, as local
producers
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 need to compete with international brands for a part of the
market
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.
As a result
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, neither local
or
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nor
show examples
 international
producers
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 can install monopolies, resulting in better
prices
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 and conditions for
consumers
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.
For example
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, in Argentina,
food
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 importation is not allowed,
therefore
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, local
producers
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 can set
prices
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 and conditions as they want, making it unfair for
consumers
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.
On the other hand
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, when
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 economy tends to be more open,
consumers
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 have the chance to choose what they want to consume, resulting in more varied diets.
For instance
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, in countries in Europe where importation is allowed, people can choose if they prefer Asian over American
food
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 and so. From the other side of view, when a country is too open to importation, there are no incentives to produce locally, because in some cases the imported
food
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 is cheaper than local costs,
therefore
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,
producers
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 cannot compete. In those cases, the Government should intervene to avoid
market
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 issues.
For example
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, there are no incentives to produce soda drinks locally as "Coke" has the entire world
market
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,
therefore
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, nobody can compete with their costs and marketing strategies. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that the positive aspects (Better
prices
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 and conditions for
consumers
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 as more varied products) outweigh the drawbacks (International competition).
Also
Linking Words
, the negative aspect can be solved by the government with intervention.

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task achievement
To further improve the essay, consider using more specific and diverse examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and improve the transitions between paragraphs. This can enhance the logical progression and make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the topic and states the writer’s position, which sets a strong foundation for the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective before concluding with a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s position, providing a sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
There is a good variety of sentence structures and vocabulary used, which adds to the readability and overall quality of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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