IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

These dayit is meuh easier for many people to travel to different countries than in the past. Do the advantages for this development outweigh the disadvangtages? Give reasons for your answer and includ any relavent xampls from your own knowledge and experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In recent times, exploring various nations has become more convenient for lots of
people
Use synonyms
 during their vacation. The process of technology allows
people
Use synonyms
 to access it more easily than it was in the past.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the benefits and problems of
this
Linking Words
 progress, including my personal experience. The main advantages of travelling have become easier in the present because more
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 have the opportunity to visit foreign countries compared to the past.
Firstly
Linking Words
, modern transportation and online platforms allow
people
Use synonyms
 to save time and money.
For example
Linking Words
, tourists can now purchase low-cost airline tickets, book accommodation and taxis through mobile phone applications within a minute.
Moreover
Linking Words
, .
Secondly
Linking Words
, going to other cities within a nation by using electric public transport.
For instance
Linking Words
, populations in my country usually use an electrical railway to go to Luang Prabang, which is where tourists go because it is faster and cheaper than a plane . Another benefit is that having a trip to some of the countries in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Southeast Asia is more comfortable. When I had a vacation in Singapore, I did not have to apply for a visa
due to
Linking Words
 the free visa conditions for Asian
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks to these developments. The overcrowding issue is the result of many foreigners, particularly during their holiday vacations. Another issue is that the department of planes is a consequence of air pollution. Travellers’ habits could cause destruction to quiet places which do not
approach
Verb problem
disturb
show examples
 the environment by making loud voices or yelling to each other. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some corners that are easier to explore, I believe that the advantages are more significant than the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say early and again at the end that the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one more clear idea for why travel is good, and explain it with one full example.
task response
Develop the bad points more. Now they are short, so the essay feels a bit unbalanced.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one plan: main idea, explanation, example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some parts stop suddenly, like 'Moreover,' and this breaks the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Connect ideas with clear words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'therefore'.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your opinion in the end.
task response
You use real examples, like Singapore and Luang Prabang, and this helps your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are mostly in a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: