IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of men and women studying engineering at Australian universities.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
The bar graph provides information about how many candidates by gender studied in engineering at Australian universities between 1992 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,the number of
men
Correct word choice
male
show examples
students
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than
women
Check wording
female students
show examples
 in all periods, despite
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
slightly decreased the rest of
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
.
Enggineering
Correct your spelling
Engineering
 was not much more common
sphere
Correct article usage
a sphere
show examples
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 female
students
Use synonyms
 in previous years,
while
Linking Words
 it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 popular in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year. In 1992, the level of male
students
Use synonyms
 was dominated and it
represents
Wrong verb form
represented
show examples
 14000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men. After reaching the
peak
Punctuation problem
peak,
show examples
 it slightly dropped by 2000 in 2002. During
decade
Correct word order
this decade, the
show examples
this
Linking Words
 rate of male
students
Use synonyms
still remain
Wrong verb form
has remained
show examples
 unchanged.
However
Linking Words
, the number of female
students
Use synonyms
 considerably increased
during
Change preposition
over the past
show examples
 three decades. In
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
show examples
 year , the rates
compose
Wrong verb form
comprised
show examples
 only 2000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women.In 2002, the interest in engineering
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 women was
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than in 1992
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it increased twice
more
Rephrase
as much
show examples
 (4000).
Also
Linking Words
, the
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
 of female
students
Use synonyms
 slowly increased to 6000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: