IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that stress level 0f people deal with in today’s society has an impact on rising road accidents, But others deny that it has any connection on that it has any connection on that. What is your opinion?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Nowadays, the rate of
road
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 is becoming a global concern. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it results in higher
stress
Use synonyms
level
Check wording
levels
show examples
 in public.
However
Linking Words
, some hold the view that it has no connection with
Use synonyms
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
show examples
 of
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 public. I personally believe that it does contributes in making
people
Use synonyms
 feel more
anxiuos
Correct your spelling
anxious
 about their
safety
Use synonyms
 outside. On the one side, a growing number of
accidents
Use synonyms
 and mishappenings on roads
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
 the
preception
Use the right word
perception
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 towards
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
 and traffic rules obligations.
This
Linking Words
 develops an unsecurity in public, and eventually makes them more nervous
while
Linking Words
 driving or even walking on sidewalks.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend slowly increases the
overall
Linking Words
stress
Use synonyms
 level in society.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a serious accident happens
at mid
Change preposition
in the middle
show examples
 of a
road
Use synonyms
, all the poeple that have witnessed that accident are probably going to be nervous at similar places like that.
This
Linking Words
graduallly
Correct your spelling
gradually
 creates a negative
preception
Correct your spelling
perception
 in
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 about
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
 and raises their
stress
Use synonyms
 levels.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for some
people
Use synonyms
,
accidents
Use synonyms
 are not the main problem for their
overall
Linking Words
Use synonyms
mind's
Replace the word
mental
 pressure.
Such
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can be highly intelligent and have better exposure
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 on-
road
Use synonyms
 rules, but may still feel
stress
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 several other factors like
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 job improvement, house mortage and car loan.
This
Linking Words
 makes them
foucs
Correct your spelling
focus
 more on their present issues
instead
Linking Words
 of future ones.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who
engage
Correct subject-verb agreement
engages
show examples
 with
varoius
Correct your spelling
various
 meetings frequently and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a busy schedule may not consider
road
Use synonyms
safety
Use synonyms
 to be crucial.
Such
Linking Words
 ignorance can postively clam an individual's
mind
Use synonyms
 and make them free from unnecessary burdens.
Therefore
Linking Words
, for certain
people
Use synonyms
,
road
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 are not more important than their work
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 and personal life. In conclusion, I personally believe that
accidents
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 build a negative viewpoint about
people
Use synonyms
's
safety
Use synonyms
 and cause them
stress
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 it is not a serious issue for some individuals, as they divert their
mind
Use synonyms
 and have less pressure for their well-being.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the question more directly. Your view is not fully clear because the essay changes between accidents causing stress and stress causing accidents.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body part and link it clearly to your opinion.
task response
Use examples that fit the question better. Show how stress can lead to road accidents, not only how accidents make people stressed.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words and sentence order so the essay is easier to follow.
task response
Explain your points more fully with simple and clear support.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.
task response
You try to discuss both sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraphing, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: