IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that social media has made communication worse. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
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 think that social
media
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 has decreased
communication
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 between individuals . I strongly agree that social
media
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 has negatively impacted
communication
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,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 In
this
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 essay will discuss how social
media
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 has made
people
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 worse in
communication
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.
Firstly
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, nowadays many
people
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 prefer to talk to others on social
media
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such
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 as Instagram, but they do not prefer face-to-face
communication
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. Cambridge University has conducted research about social
media
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, they prove that many
people
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 have social anxiety because they do not talk to other
people
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 face-to-face.
For example
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, before social
media
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 and digital device the ,
communication
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 between
people
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 face-to-face was important , but not anymore.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 have thousands of followers on social
media
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, and they have good
communication
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, but in real life, they can't even talk to strangers. Some
people
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 have neighbors but they haven`t seen them in months
due to
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 the new social
media
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 ; almost all
people
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 are sitting at home watching movies, podcasts , or on their phones. In conclusion, I strongly believe that social
media
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 has impacted
communication
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 between
people
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 , and some research has shown that many
people
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 have social anxiety because of new social
media
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.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first paragraph. Say why you agree in a direct way.
task response
Add one more clear idea about how social media makes communication worse.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and more exact. Explain them a little more.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Check long sentences. Some are hard to follow and need better stops.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph should have one main point and then support it well.
task response
You answered the question and gave a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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