IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is an amazing invention that has changed the world. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
The world is changing
fastly
Rephrase
rapidly
show examples
, in
life
Use synonyms
 where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
speed and technology
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 taking first place.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 has a great affection in human
life
Use synonyms
improvnt
Correct your spelling
improvement
.
Also
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 is an amazing invention that has changed the world.
This
Linking Words
 essay will mention the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, it will
says
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 how it
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 human
life
Use synonyms
 in both ways.
Body · 1
on one hand, there are lots of advantages of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 which can be observed in
life
Use synonyms
.
first
Fix capitalization
First
show examples
 off all,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is linking
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
world
Correct word choice
whole world
show examples
Linking Words
such
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
as one place.
For example
Linking Words
, tow familyes living in two
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 places
one
Punctuation problem
, one
show examples
 in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the other
live
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. They can
comunicate easly
Correct your spelling
communicate easily
 through social media as long as they are connected to
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, the cost is not that
much
Rephrase
apply
show examples
expensive. Second instance,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 can save
people
Use synonyms
 time in a great way. By using
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can divide their work and
finsh
Correct your spelling
finish
 it from home.
Linking Words
lastly
Fix capitalization
Lastly
show examples
,
By
Fix capitalization
by
show examples
 using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
many
Punctuation problem
, many
show examples
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 information can be
learend
Correct your spelling
learned
.
Linking Words
last
Fix capitalization
Last
show examples
 example, many universities
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
 online courses with cirtificate from them.
Body · 2
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
internet
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 have disadvantages if it is not used well.
Firstlly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, in some cases
internet
Use synonyms
 is used by children
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
 might use it in a bad way or
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
 to some bad
people
Use synonyms
 they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 know. Here is the role of their pearnts start to save them.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it during
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
 and night are losing the real
life
Use synonyms
 communication
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of
it
Punctuation problem
it,
show examples
 it is like a drug for some
people
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In
conclustion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, it is clear to see that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has many disadvantages to be
discoverd
Correct your spelling
discovered
.
However
Linking Words
, it must be said that the advantages are the same if it
used
Verb problem
is used
show examples
berfictly
Correct your spelling
correctly
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, answer both sides in a more full way. You gave good points, but some ideas need more detail.
task response
Add one more clear example for the bad side of the internet. This will make your answer stronger.
coherence cohesion
Keep your main idea clear in each paragraph. Sometimes your meaning is hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like first, also, however, and finally. This will help the essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
Put each main point in its own sentence and explain it after. Do not join too many ideas in one line.
task response
You answered the full question and wrote about both good and bad sides of the internet.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end.
task response
You used some examples, like families in two countries and online courses.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: