Many people believe that reducing the income gap between the rich and the poor can create a happier society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Its
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It's
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often argued that reducing the
income
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gap between the rich and the poor can make
society
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happier. I fully agree with
this
Linking Words
view, as it can reduce social comparison pressure and improve
fairness
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in
society
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.
Body · 1
One important reason is that
income
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inequality increases social comparison, particularly
inn
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in
today’s digital
society
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. With the widespread use of social media, people are constantly exposed to
other’s
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others’
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lifestyles and consumption patterns, making differences in wealth more visible than before.
As a result
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, individuals are more likely to compare their own living standards with those who are better off.
This
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often leads to feelings of relative deprivation, where people
feed
Verb problem
feel
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dissatisfied even if their basic needs are met. Over time,
such
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psychological pressure can reduce life satisfaction and increase anxiety.
Therefore
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, narrowing the
income
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gap can help reduce unnecessary comparisons and improve
overall
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happiness.
Body · 2
In addition
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, a smaller
income
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gap can improve people’s perception of
fairness
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and strengthen social trust. When the difference between rich and poor is too large,
society
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may appear unfair, which can reduce confidence in institutions and weaken social cohesion.
In contrast
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, a more equal distribution of
income
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helps people believe that opportunities are more balanced and that success is based on effort rather than privilege.
This
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sense of
fairness
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encourages cooperation and stability within
society
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, which are important foundations of long-term happiness.
As a result
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, reducing
income
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inequality can contribute to a more satisfied and socially stable population.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
i
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I
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strongly agree that reducing
income
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inequality can lead to a happier
society
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, mainly because it reduces harmful social comparison and enhances perception of
fairness
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.

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task response
Add one more clear example in the body to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a little more how less income gap can change daily life for poor people.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. Your ideas are clear, but a few more smooth links can help.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word errors like 'other’s', 'feed', 'i', and 'inn' because they can slow the reader.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a strong opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea and good focus.
task response
Your points about social comparison and fairness are relevant and easy to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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