IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that working from home is better than working in an office, while others think working in an office is more effective.

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Introduction
I will discuss the issues of working remotely and from home
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I will try to
wright
Correct your spelling
write
 about the positive and the navigate
also
Linking Words
 remind the
benefit
Check wording
benefits
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 for the normal
people
Use synonyms
, campiness and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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employers.
Body · 1
Firs the
people
Use synonyms
 who think that working from home is better than working from
Use synonyms
office
Correct article usage
the office
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, they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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 might have
Vild
Correct your spelling
valid
 points, like
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 more time with their own
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 of family, friends and
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the campiness for sure they will keep some money rather
spend
Correct word choice
than spend
show examples
 it on
rant budling
Correct your spelling
rent building
, paying electricity,
water
Correct word choice
and water
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 bills. For normal
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
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 that will reducing the
crowded
Replace the word
crowds
 in the transport therefor that will make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life easier. But
also
Linking Words
, that have negatives points
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Use synonyms
working
Punctuation problem
, working
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 remotely needs strong WIFI, quit area and
some time
Correct your spelling
sometimes
 the employers need to spend money on the
work
Use synonyms
 staff.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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 who believes working from
office
Use synonyms
 is effective, they might have Vild points
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
 the Frish-employers they need to learn about the stages of the works, therefor,
work
Use synonyms
 from the
office
Use synonyms
 will give them that chance,
besides
Linking Words
, the
work
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 area will force the
people
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 more smart
as a result
Linking Words
 of meeting
people
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 and share their experience with each authors and that will be reflection to improve the
work
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the negatives are many
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Use synonyms
, for those who
living
Wrong verb form
live
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 far
of
Change preposition
from
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 the
work
Use synonyms
 area, they will
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
loss
Replace the word
lose
 time that
supposed
Verb problem
is supposed
show examples
 to be
spend it
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 with family.
Conclusion
From my perspective, the bast choosing is finding the balance to get all the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 for
mix the
Wrong verb form
mixing
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 both
way, basically
Correct word order
ways. Basically,
show examples
 we need to give
the to
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 the opportunity to try both,
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
 we can choose two or three days weekly to
work
Use synonyms
 remotely and the rest working from the
office
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why home work is good and why office work is good, then give your view in a direct way.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each body part. One part for home work, one part for office work, and add simple support for each idea.
task response
Give more real and clear examples. For example, talk about one worker, one company, or one trip to work.
coherence and cohesion
Make your essay easier to follow. Start with a short opening, then two body parts, then a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a correct way. Words like first, on the other hand, for example, however, and in conclusion can help.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence when you can. Some sentences are too long and hard to follow.
task response
You write about both home work and office work, so you answer the full question.
task response
You give your own view at the end, and this is good for the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic order: opening, two main parts, and an ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like but, furthermore, on the other hand, and however.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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