Some people say that the main technological issue of our time is the rise of artificial intelligence and the displacement of jobs it may cause. Others say that there are more important technological issues. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction

Some people think that the rise of artificial intelligence and its impact on employment is the main technological concern of our time,

whereas

Linking Words

others believe that there are more significant technological issues.

Body · 1

As more and more repetitive jobs,

such

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as drivers, factory workers, and cashiers, can be replaced by artificial intelligence, unemployment has gradually increased in recent years, which makes it difficult for unemployed people to change careers, especially for middle-aged workers, because they have to adapt to new workplaces and learn new skills;

otherwise

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, the unemployed lose their source of income, ending up with financial problems.

As a result

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, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening

due to

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technology. One typical example is that, in the US, driverless vehicles have gradually replaced drivers, which leads to many drivers losing their jobs.

Body · 2

On the other hand

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, with the advancement of technology, many service systems have been

digitalized

Change the spelling

digitalised

show examples

such

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as electronic medical records, online banking, and online stores, which makes it easier for hackers to steal personal data online.

This

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raises the question of whether

cybercrime

Use synonyms

has become the most urgent issue.

Therefore

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, some people think that the government should

prioritize

Change the spelling

prioritise

show examples

cybersecurity.

Body · 3

In my opinion, the

cybercrime

Use synonyms

issue is more urgent than unemployment.

This

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is because unemployment is a gradual process, so it can be addressed and prevented in advance.

However

Linking Words

cybercrime

Use synonyms

usually happens immediately.

For example

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, a scam

organization

Change the spelling

organisation

show examples

can steal personal property overnight.

Conclusion

To sum up

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, there is a debate over whether the most concerning technological issue today is the rise of artificial intelligence and its potential impact on employment

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

cybercrime

Use synonyms

. From my perspective, the latter is more serious than the former.

llong2003tw520

May 28, 2026

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coherence cohesion

Make your main idea more clear in each body part at the start of the part.

task achievement

Add one more clear example to support your point about cybercrime.

coherence cohesion

Link some ideas more smoothly so the essay feels less like a list of points.

task achievement

Explain a little more why job loss may not be the top issue for all countries.

task achievement

You discuss both views and give your own view clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear intro, body parts, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Most ideas stay on topic and are easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

277 words

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