IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

#people #university #students #study #range #subjects
With the increase in the number
college
Change preposition
of college
show examples
 and university
students
 around the world, a debate has started about whether
students
 should take diverse and different courses or just
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
 on their major. In the essay, I will explain why I believe a wider range of courses and sciences is most beneficial for
students
. Turning
firstly
 to the disadvantages of the full curriculum, increasing the number of
subjects
 and courses required to graduate would increase the burden on
students
, which might overwhelm some
students
. A recent survey conducted among British university
students
 has concluded that 70% of the
students
 are already struggling with their study load. Moving on to the benefits of more
subjects
, diversifying university curriculums would
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
open
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
new possibilities for
students
, it would allow them to learn more about different fields, and how it could be helpful to their majors, which could lead to better integrations and cooperation between scientific fields.
For example
, engineering
students
 could develop new medical and health
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 if they have a better understanding
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 biology and the human body.
Furthermore
, the more
subjects
 the
students
 have, the more chances they get in fulfilling different job roles, as they will have more knowledge about the new field.
For instance
, an accountant would be able to help with shipping and transportation, if he previously had a course in logistics. In conclusion,
although
 widening the
subjects
 for
students
 might increase their study loads, I believe its advantages outweigh
such
 drawbacks,
hence
 a more diverse curriculum should be adopted by universities and colleges around the world.
Submitted by hababneh on

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language
Work on polishing the language to eliminate minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'a open' should be 'open').
examples
You may want to include more detailed examples or statistical evidence to further strengthen your arguments.
content
While your points are clear, adding a brief mention of opposing viewpoints can strengthen the essay's overall balance.
content
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance.
structure
The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs addressing key points for both sides of the argument.
content
Appropriate use of examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • interdisciplinary
  • innovation
  • critical thinking
  • adaptability
  • specialization
  • academic performance
  • cognitive overload
  • employability
  • workforce demands
  • niche areas
  • mastery
  • learning styles
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
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