IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

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Introduction
Environmental education is very crucial to
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future preservation. Many individuals are of the point of view that handling environmental issues through raising
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
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 of energy is an excellent method.
Air
Use synonyms
 pollution is an evolving concern of the modern world which needs to
address
Wrong verb form
be addressed
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 on
international
Correct article usage
an international
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 level.
Although
Linking Words
 I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, there are many other prospective initiatives which can improve
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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 environmental situation.
Body · 1
To begin
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 with, undoubtedly,
raise
Replace the word
a rise
 in fuel prices will not only discourage
over consumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
 of organic resources but
also
Linking Words
 lower carbon emissions in the
air
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. In large metropolitan cities
where
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,
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 huge traffic produces tonnes of harmful gases in the atmosphere
causing
Punctuation problem
, causing
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 several diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, recent surveys show that incomplete combustion of lower quality petroleum extraction in private vehicles
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 causing more cancerous diseases than other energy resources.
Body · 2
However
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, new developments in electric
charged
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apply
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vehicles show prospective advantages over burning fuel. There are multiple advantages of
battery operated
Correct your spelling
battery-operated
 cars
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 economical means of transportation, lowering
air
Use synonyms
 pollution and lesser dependency on hydrocarbons.
For instance
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, China has adopted vehicles in
capital
Correct article usage
the capital
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 to lower toxic emission levels
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 really impacted in positive
way
Check wording
impact
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.
Conclusion
In conclusion, where selling expensive hydrocarbons to control
air
Use synonyms
 pollution is considered
optimal
Correct article usage
the optimal
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 way, there are other alternatives which can enhance the
overall
Linking Words
 situation
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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example
Punctuation problem
example,
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 electric
battery operated
Correct your spelling
battery-operated
 cars rather than using petrol or diesel.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you partly agree, but your body does not fully show both sides in a balanced way.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why higher fuel price can help, and one more clear idea about why it may not be enough.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your examples are linked to the topic, but they need more facts or explanation.
coherence cohesion
Make some sentences shorter and more direct. This will help your meaning stay clear.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly between sentences. At times, the jump from one point to the next is too fast.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with a full explanation. Some points are good, but they are not fully developed.
task response
You answer the question and give your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use topic words well, such as fuel, air pollution, and electric cars.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental problems
  • Fuel prices
  • Vehicle emissions
  • Sustainability
  • Public transportation
  • Alternative energy sources
  • Innovation
  • Government intervention
  • Renewable energy
  • Commuting
  • Low-income individuals
  • Disproportionate effect
  • Resistance
  • Pushback
  • Infrastructure
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