When individuals with cultural differences work and live together, they are said to be living in a multi-cultural society. Do you believe that the advantages of living in a multi-cultural society outweigh the disadvantages?

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The question of whether the benefits of living in a multi-cultural
society
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outweigh the drawbacks has been sparking debate for several years. I believe that having individuals with different cultural backgrounds work and live together is beneficial on many levels and that,
therefore
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, the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages. A
variety
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of advantages are created by living and working in a diverse
society
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. For starters, multicultural environments allow
people
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to broaden their understanding of the world and of human nature. Different
cultures
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produce different perspectives and ideas, which help
people
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learn more about the world. Having
people
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from different parts of the world living together in the same region can provide excellent learning opportunities, as
people
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are exposed to a
variety
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of languages,
cultures
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, and traditions.
People
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can experience different foods
,
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and different customs every day, leading to more tolerance and improved relations among
communities
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.
Furthermore
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, individuals from a
variety
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of cultural backgrounds benefit
society
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in many other ways. Because of their
multi-cultural
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multicultural
nature, countries like Australia, the UK, and Canada run a
variety
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of yearly events to celebrate the coming together of different
cultures
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. These festivals serve as tourist attractions that boost the local economy, providing jobs and prosperity. These celebrations have the added effect of solidifying the area’s identity and uniting
people
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in celebration, which arguably contributes to a healthier, happier
society
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. One potential stumbling block is if the situation is not managed correctly
and
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, and
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new
communities
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do not become integrated.
This
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can lead to a feeling of isolation
which
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, which
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often causes conflict and resentment if not managed properly.
Furthermore
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, if
communities
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become entrenched in specific areas within a city, and there are insufficient resources to serve all
communities
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equally,
this
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can result in
further
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conflict, as a feeling of injustice becomes widespread. After taking into consideration all of the points made above, I do not see any significant disadvantages to living in a multi-cultural environment, provided the situation is managed correctly, and all
communities
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are fully integrated. I am confident that, in theory, the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages from both an economic and a cultural standpoint.
Furthermore
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, I believe that in order to develop as a
society
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and prosper in the long term, we must foster an atmosphere of respect and tolerance among
cultures
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. Cultural diversity can enrich
society
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on many levels and force us to confront our prejudices.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you give your opinion from the start. This is good. To get a higher score, explain the bad side a little more before you say why it is smaller.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are strong, but some examples are a bit general. Add one more clear real example to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has a clear job. This is good. To improve more, make some links between ideas more direct and short.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, most main points are supported well. To get a higher score, avoid repeating the same idea in the last paragraph and keep the focus very tight.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and your opinion is clear all through the essay.
task response
For task response, you give good reasons such as learning from other cultures, better relations, and help for the economy.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a logical order and your linking words help the reader follow your meaning.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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