IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The advantages brought by the spread of English as a “global language” will outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Today, it is common for
people
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 to learn and speak
English
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. I believe that the popularity of
this
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language
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 is a positive change,
although
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 it can pose a threat to some less spoken
languages
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.The widespread use of
English
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 can promote cooperation throughout the
world
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 because it enables
people
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 to overcome
language
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 barriers in the international context. There are thousands of
languages
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 that coexist in the
world
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, presenting obstacles to cross-cultural communication between
people
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 of different nationalities. With the rise of
English
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 as a dominant
language
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,
people
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 can take it as the medium of communication to share ideas and knowledge, which are the key to collaborative projects in business, science and academic studies. Merchants, researchers and scholars can work together to explore business opportunities, complete projects and advance technology, which can promote the progress of the whole
world
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.The growing popularity of
English
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 can
also
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 benefit
people
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 on a personal level since they can increase
knowledge
Correct determiner usage
their knowledge
show examples
 and broaden
horizons
Correct determiner usage
their horizons
show examples
.
English
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 is the main
language
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 of many respected news organisations, including
BBC
Correct article usage
the BBC
show examples
 and CNN, and of some prominent publishing houses.
This
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 means that even non-native
English
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 speakers can learn about the
world
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 by reading
English
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-written material as long as they pick up
this
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 global
language
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. These kinds of knowledge can make them broad-minded as they come to realise the practices, values and ways of life of the
English
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-speaking
world
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.
On the other hand
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, the dominance of
English
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 in the
world
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 may endanger some minority
languages
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.
English
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 has become a compulsory subject at school in many communities and countries, and many young
people
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 devote a large proportion of their time to mastering
this
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language
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. They firmly believe that a good command of
English
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 can improve job prospects, especially when they intend to work for multinational enterprises, most of which are headquartered in
English
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-speaking countries. They may,
however
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, pay little attention to their native
languages
Use synonyms
. One typical example is the Maori
language
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 in New Zealand, which is spoken by indigenous
people
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 but is on the verge of extinction as
English
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 predominates in the workplace, at school and in news media.In conclusion,
English
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 plays an important role in the communication and cooperation between
people
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 from different countries,
although
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 it may put some
languages
Use synonyms
 under threat.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first part. Say more clearly that you agree more than disagree.
task response
Add one more very clear example in the body to make your ideas stronger.
task response
In the last part, show the extent of your view again, not only a summary.
coherence and cohesion
Use a small space after each full stop. This will make the essay easier to read.
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences can be cut into two shorter ones. This will help the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more linking words like 'First', 'Also', and 'However' to guide the reader more clearly.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
task response
Your ideas are clear and mostly well explained.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear intro, body parts, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each body part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global language
  • lingua franca
  • cultural exchange
  • economic opportunities
  • educational material
  • scientific research
  • technical documentation
  • innovation
  • knowledge dissemination
  • linguistic diversity
  • cultural identity
  • social and economic disparities
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