IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Crime rates are likely to decline due to the advancements in technology, which will help to prevent and solve crimes in an easier way. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that advances in
technology
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 will help reduce
crime
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 and make it easier for law enforcement agencies to solve criminal cases. I completely agree with
this
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 view because modern
technologies
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 can prevent
crimes
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 before they occur and assist the police in investigating offences more efficiently. One significant advantage of modern
technology
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 is its ability to prevent
crime
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. Many public places, shops, and residential areas are now equipped with
security
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cameras
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, smart alarm
systems
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, and other surveillance tools. These
technologies
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 discourage criminals from committing offences because they know their actions are being monitored and recorded.
For example
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, after the installation of smart
security
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systems
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, including doorbell
cameras
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 and round-the-clock monitoring
systems
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,
crime
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 rates in some areas of Kazakhstan reportedly fell significantly.
Therefore
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, technological developments can act as an effective deterrent and reduce the number of
crimes
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 committed. Another important benefit of advanced
technology
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 is that it provides clear and reliable evidence, enabling the police to solve
crimes
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 more quickly and accurately. Nowadays, many buildings and private properties are protected by
security
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cameras
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 and motion sensors, making it extremely difficult for criminals to enter without being detected.
Furthermore
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, financial institutions increasingly use AI-powered
technologies
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such
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 as facial recognition
systems
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 to identify individuals attempting to access bank accounts using false identities.
As a result
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, these
technologies
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 not only help law enforcement agencies catch offenders but
also
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 improve public confidence in the
security
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 of modern
systems
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. In conclusion, I strongly agree that technological advancements will continue to reduce
crime
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 rates in the future. Modern
security
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systems
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such
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, such
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 as surveillance
cameras
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 and smart
alarms
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alarms,
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 can prevent
crimes
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 before they happen,
while
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technologies
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 like facial recognition provide valuable evidence that helps solve criminal cases more efficiently.
Consequently
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,
technology
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 will play an increasingly important role in making society safer.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear and you fully answer the question. To get a higher score, add one more strong and real example with more detail.
task response
For task response, your ideas are good, but one point about AI in banks is a bit narrow. You can add one more crime example from daily life or public places.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and the order of ideas is strong. To get a higher score, use a few more linking words with care, such as 'in addition' or 'as a result'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each main part has support, but you can make the second body paragraph a little more focused on one main idea.
task response
Task response: You clearly give your opinion from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Task response: Your main ideas are relevant and you explain how technology can both stop crime and help solve it.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your topic sentences are clear, so the reader can understand each paragraph easily.
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