Some people think that modern children’s games do not develop a wide range skills, but others argue that traditional games can be much better for developing such skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
temporary life, many
games
for kids focus on increasing their intelligence, some individuals believe that
this
case does not develop all
children
's abilities,
while
others argue traditional
games
assist improve all
skills
. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides and give my opinion on
this
statement. Nowadays
games
are very different from
games
which existed fifty years ago. Technology and smartphones influence our lives even our
children
.
Children
prefer to play
games
on the computer than on the street.
In addition
, compony that designed
such
games
, do their best to create mental development.
For example
, my little brother played a whole day
game
on the phone, in
this
game
he had to find the right translation for the object in the picture. Thanks to
this
game
he knows a lot of English words.
However
, he has a problem with obesity because he does not run and play on the street as usual
children
. Traditional
games
are known as active sports.
Such
kinds of
games
keep fit our
children
and develop all
skills
including intelligence.
For instance
, many of us played in our childhood
foodball
Correct your spelling
football
,
this
game
helped us increase our legs because we ran a lot,
increased
Correct word choice
and increased
show examples
our teamwork
skills
since
foodball
Correct your spelling
football
is a team
game
.
Following
this
game
was very interesting and we were keen to play it.
To sum up
, modern
games
focus only on improving our intelligence and do not require from us any actions. I believe that traditional
games
have a great influence on the development of
children
's
skills
Submitted by kazbek.baimukhambetov on

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logical structure
Consider more careful planning of your essay to ensure a logical progression of ideas. Begin with a clear introduction that outlines your stance. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea supported by examples or explanations, followed by a brief conclusion that reiterates your position.
introduction conclusion present
Be consistent in your use of paragraphs to structure your essay. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea. Use linking words and phrases (e.g., 'however', 'for instance', 'in addition') to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
When developing your main points, ensure that each is supported by relevant examples or explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes your writing more convincing.
complete response
Ensure that you address all parts of the task. Your essay should present a clear opinion on the statement and discuss both views. Support your answers with examples or reasons for your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Aim for clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Be specific in your examples and explanations to effectively convey your points.
relevant specific examples
Incorporating a variety of specific examples and details can make your essay more engaging and persuasive. Use examples from personal experience, historical events, or hypothetical situations to support your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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