IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion- one the roads. What are the causes of this? What solution can you suggest?

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Traffic
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congestion
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 has become a major problem in many large cities around the world. Every day, millions of
people
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 spend a significant amount of time stuck in
traffic
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, which can negatively affect their productivity and quality of life.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
traffic
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congestion
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 and suggest several possible solutions. One of the primary causes of
traffic
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congestion
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 is the increasing
number
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 of private vehicles. As
people
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’s incomes rise, more individuals can afford to purchase cars, leading to overcrowded roads.
In addition
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, public transportation systems in some cities are often unreliable, inconvenient, or insufficient.
As a result
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, many
people
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 prefer to drive their own vehicles rather than use buses or trains. Another contributing factor is poor urban planning. In many cities, residential areas are located far from workplaces and educational institutions, forcing
people
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 to travel long distances every day. Several measures can be taken to address
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, governments should invest in improving public transportation systems by increasing the
number
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 of buses and trains and ensuring that they are affordable and efficient.
This
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 would encourage more
people
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 to leave their cars at home.
Secondly
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, promoting remote work and flexible working hours could reduce the
number
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 of commuters during peak periods.
Finally
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, city authorities should improve road infrastructure by constructing new roads and expanding existing ones to accommodate growing populations. In conclusion,
traffic
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congestion
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 is mainly caused by the increasing
number
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 of private vehicles, inadequate public transportation, and poor city planning.
However
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,
this
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 problem can be reduced through better public transport, remote working opportunities, and improved road infrastructure.

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task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question well. To get a higher score, add one or two real and clear examples.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but some points could be more full. Try to explain how each solution will work in daily life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. The order is good from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like 'In addition', 'Firstly', and 'Finally' well. For a higher score, use a few more smooth links inside body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, which is good. You can make support stronger by adding a short example in each body paragraph.
task response
You clearly answer the causes and the solutions, so the task is complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and useful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-paragraph structure, so it is easy to read.
task response
Most ideas are relevant and stay on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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