IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

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This
Linking Words
 graph outlines the average annual expenses on smartphones and residential mobiles between 2001 and 2010. Overview
, the
Punctuation problem
: The
show examples
 graph shows the average annual expenditures on cellphones and residential phones.
This
Linking Words
 starts from the
year
Use synonyms
 2001 until the
year
Use synonyms
 2010. The
expense
Use synonyms
 ranges from 200 to 800 on the graph. Starting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with cellphone services. The
year
Use synonyms
 2001
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2002
has
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
experienced an increase of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
100
dollars
Use synonyms
, which resulted to 300
dollars
Use synonyms
. Wherein, the upcoming
year
Use synonyms
 2002 up
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2003 had a slight increase, possibly between 10
to
Correct word choice
and
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 20
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
it kept on surging over the years, ranging from 2004 to 2007. From 2007 to
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
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 it started to increase slightly, about 30 to 50
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
2008
Change preposition
from 2008
show examples
 to 2010 started to experience a surge again. Resulting in the
expense
Use synonyms
 of almost 800
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
Residential phone services were
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 of the
cellphone
Correct your spelling
cell phone
 services. Starting from 700
dollars
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2001, it drastically started to drop over the years.
Until the
Change preposition
From
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 2007 to 2008,
where
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it experienced a
light
Correct word choice
slight
show examples
 fall in
Use synonyms
expense
Check wording
expenses
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the upcoming
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it started to drop again in mass numbers, resulting in the
expense
Use synonyms
 of about 430
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, ".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, expense, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditures
  • cell phone services
  • residential phone services
  • steady increase
  • steady decrease
  • comparison
  • milestones
  • technological advancements
  • trends
  • speculating
  • paraphrasing
  • overview
  • notable changes
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