IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In the past , most people used to travel to their place of work . with increased use of computers,the internet and smartphones , more and more people are starting to work from home

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Previously, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 commuted in the workplaces with widespread
use
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 of computers,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online technology and mobile phones
more
Correct word choice
, and more
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 and more
people
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 are performing their duties from home. On the one hand, A large proportion of
people
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 think
advantages
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the advantages
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 on internet given that social
media
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 is
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
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 working environment and vaqtni behudaga sarflamaydi. On top of that
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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instance
Punctuation problem
instance,
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 each person improves work-life balance, greater
independence
Punctuation problem
independence,
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 reduced transportation costs and saved time on commuting. These things a person was helping
to
Change preposition
apply
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individuals
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 most
people
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 pose several challenges
and
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, and
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 as
Correct article usage
a
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result, it is important to
use
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 social
media
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 wisely, as
people
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 may become victims of hackers and suffer financial losses.
Moreover
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 it is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of face-to-face communication. In conclusion, social
media
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 makes communication easier and provides access to a vast amount of data.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
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 excessive
use
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 of these platforms can lead to addiction and increase the risk of becoming a victim of hackers, which may result in financial losses.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is essential to
use
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 social
media
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 wisely and
responsible
Rephrase
responsibly
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.

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task response
Answer both sides of the topic more clearly. Say why working from home is good and why it is bad.
task response
Keep your main idea on one topic. Do not change from working from home to social media.
task response
Give one or two clear examples about home work, not general points only.
coherence cohesion
Use a clear paragraph plan: intro, good side, bad side, conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Connect ideas with simple words like first, also, however, because, so.
coherence cohesion
Make each sentence easy to follow. Some parts are hard to understand now.
coherence cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both the good side and the bad side.
task response
You included some useful points like saving time and less travel cost.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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