In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

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In different cultures, children are often told that by trying hard enough, they can achieve anything they want in life.
This
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can help boost their morale and encourage them to work harder.
Although
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this
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approach can be beneficial, it can
also
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lead to several problems. On the one hand, telling children that hard work can help them achieve their goals is a message they often hear in schools and sports environments.
This
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gives them hope that if they put in enough effort, they can obtain the results they desire. It is an essential source of motivation for young people, especially those involved in sports, as they hear it regularly from their coaches.
As a result
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, they become more determined and disciplined in pursuing their goals.
On the other hand
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,
although
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this
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belief can raise their spirits significantly, it can
also
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have negative consequences. Sometimes, even after putting all their effort into something, people still fail to achieve what they want. In
such
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situations, they may experience a loss of self-confidence and begin to develop self-doubt.
This
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can lead to feelings of disappointment, anxiety, and frustration, particularly when expectations are unrealistic. In conclusion, many children are taught that hard work is the key to success.
While
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this
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message can be highly motivating, it may
also
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create emotional difficulties when desired outcomes are not achieved.
Therefore
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, I believe motivation is essential, but it should be accompanied by realistic expectations and careful planning.

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task response
For task response, answer both sides a bit more. You gave good main ideas, but you can add one more clear point for each side.
task response
For task response, use a more real example. For example, talk about a child who trains for years but still does not join a top team.
task response
For task response, explain your ideas a little more deeply. Say why this message works well in some cases and why it can be harmful in others.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To make it stronger, add a few more linking words like 'for example', 'because of this', and 'however'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some ideas are general. Add one short supporting detail in each body paragraph to make the points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, paragraphing is good. You can make the flow even better by making the topic sentence of each body paragraph more direct.
task response
For task response, you answered both the good side and the bad side of the topic.
task response
For task response, your main position in the conclusion is clear and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the order of ideas is logical and easy to follow.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • effort
  • hard work
  • try
  • achieve
  • goal
  • plan
  • practice
  • persistence
  • belief
  • confidence
  • failure
  • pressure
  • stress
  • health
  • talent
  • luck
  • realistic
  • balance
  • support
  • guide
  • parent
  • teacher
  • child
  • school
  • culture
  • improve
  • learn
  • reward
  • blame
  • risk
  • burnout
  • well-being
  • success
  • motivation
  • opportunity
  • access
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