Some think spending a lot on birthday celebration and weddings is a waste of money. Others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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For some people, these occasions like birthdays and weddings should be celebrated by spending a lot of money.
In contrast
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, for others, it’s not normal to wash away the hard work and the money earned. In
this
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essay, I will discuss my opinion on both sides.
To begin
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with, birthdays and weddings are important in our lives, especially when celebrating them with our loved ones.
Therefore
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, a lot of people invite their close friends and families to keep the connections and traditions of society.
For instance
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, they tend to believe that doing
this
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is the only way to reconnect and gather everyone again. Especially if other relatives and friends are living far away from them.
Also
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, it will be remembered that one lifetime moments that they will create.
Thus
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, the good
ambiance
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ambience
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, location, and decoration can add up to good memories that they can go back to in the future.
On the other hand
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, for the people celebrating those events, it is luxurious and a waste of money.
For example
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,
instead
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of paying for a hotel or location, they should think about their future expenses as a couple. Where they can build their own house and be financially secure for their kids' education.
Moreover
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, they can celebrate it in their own house with family and still have a good time. It is not expensive and is budget-friendly. All in all, in my opinion, I want to celebrate these events in a simple way. Like in our own home where everyone is complete or just
doing
Verb problem
having
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a picnic, looking
in
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at
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a
river side
Correct your spelling
riverside
is totally fine. What matters to me is that we are complete and happy.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but your own view is very short.
task response
Add one clear opinion in the introduction and keep it the same in the conclusion.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your ideas are general, so they do not feel strong.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main paragraph start with one clear topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Keep sentences shorter and simpler.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, like 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer the main task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You give some examples about family, money, and future needs.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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