Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara desert and Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages of visiting this area?

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These days
many
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, many
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tourisist
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tourists
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are tending to visit
places
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sauch
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such
as Shara desert
which
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, which
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have hard
concecqances
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consequences
.
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This
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The
show examples
advantages of
this
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ponomenon
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phenomenon
are
strength
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strengthening
the visitors and
give
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giving
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them the chance to discovering uniqe invironment .
However
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, the drawbacks of it
is
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are
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making them risk their
lives
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and
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apply
show examples
for no
deserable
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deserving
reasons. On the one hand , visiting
such
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places
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can make the visitor more
sreonger
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stronger
. When peson facing hard
conditions
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, he ofen get out of these
counditions
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conditions
with much knowledage which
make
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makes
show examples
him stronger than a person who does not facing that .The
secound
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second
benefit is
it
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that it
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giving
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gives
show examples
the visitor
experiment
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an experience
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in
uniqe
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unique
places
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,
that
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which
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are not
avilable
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available
everywhere.
Discovring
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Discovering
new and different
place
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places
show examples
is
great
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a great
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feeling ,which many
people
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want to
trying it
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try
show examples
. Because it
is make
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makes
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the visitor seeing new
invironment
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environment
around him . As a
resut
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result
of that, many
people
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from
raound
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around
the world are tending to
visite
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visit
such
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a
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apply
show examples
places
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.
For example
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, many
foraigners
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foreigners
are
comimg
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coming
to Saudi Arabia from far distant only to see and experiment being in the
sesert
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desert
.
On the other hand
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,
visting
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visiting
places
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with hard
conditions
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is not
worthable
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worthwhile
.Since these
places
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have lots of hard
conditions
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and the visitors have to face difficult
advantures
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adventures
,there is no
worthable
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worthwhile
result of
visitng
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visiting
them . The
secound
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second
drawback is
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people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
risk their
lives
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.
places
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with difficult concequances are often have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
level of
risks
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, which increase the
risks
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on
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to
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Use synonyms
people'
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people's
show examples
lives
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as well .
Therefore
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in
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, in
show examples
these
places
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injres
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injuries
and
life'
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life
show examples
risks
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are common .
For instance
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, in BBC
news
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news,
show examples
they have shown that many tourists who visited forests
n
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in
Africa get a lot of
injres
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injuries
and have faced life' threating advatntures . In conclusion ,
although
Linking Words
visiting
places
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with hard
conditions
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can give the person the chance to be in uniqe place and make him stronger , it has no
worthable
Correct word choice
worthwhile
show examples
reasons and
risks
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the
visitors
Check wording
visitors'
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about good and bad points, but some ideas are not fully clear.
task response
Use clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it simply.
task response
Add more specific and real examples. Your examples are related, but they are not very clear or strong.
coherence and cohesion
Make linking easier to follow. Some sentences do not connect well with the next sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas more carefully. Keep one main idea in one part of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. At times, the reader has to guess your meaning because ideas are not in the best order.
task response
You answered the full question and wrote about both benefits and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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