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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The internet is amazing and has changed the world. Many people use it. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet

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The world has drastically changed , and the main reason for
that is
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 technology. The
internet
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 has changed how
people
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 live. It has created a new society.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
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. On the one hand, the
Internet
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 has multiple advantages.
To begin
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 with, the
Internet
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 is an efficient way of finding information. There are numerous topics and official websites that can help
people
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 search for information. Many students use the
Internet
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 to find knowledge because it is faster and easier.
Secondly
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, the
Internet
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 has made communication incredibly simple.
People
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 from all around the world can communicate with each other in seconds.
For
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example
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, worldwide businesses communicate with
people
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 globally to answer their questions and provide support.
Last
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 but not least, entertainment is one of the major benefits of the
Internet
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.
People
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 who use the
Internet
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 can easily enjoy their hobbies and interests.
For
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example
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, football fans can simply search for soccer online and find amazing videos, ideas, and content that entertain them.
On the other hand
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, the
Internet
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 has several disadvantages.
Firstly
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, the
Internet
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 can lead to bullying. Many
people
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 use social media to send hurtful messages and make fun of others.
For
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example
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, some students are bullied online through comments and messages.
Secondly
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, the
Internet
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 can be unhealthy.
People
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 often spend many hours using their phones, computers, and tablets, which can affect their health.
For
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example
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, spending too much
time
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 online can cause eye strain and a lack of physical activity.
Lastly
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, the
Internet
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 can be a waste of
time
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. Many
people
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 spend hours watching videos or scrolling through social media
instead
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 of doing important tasks. As an
example
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, students may waste
time
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 online and have less
time
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 to study and complete their homework. In conclusion, it is clear to see that the
internet
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 has tremendous advantages.
However
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, it must be stated that the
internet
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also
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 comes with some serious disadvantages.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both good and bad sides, but some ideas are quite general. Add one or two more clear points or explain each point a bit more.
task response
For task response, your examples are on topic, but they are simple. Use more specific examples to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear paragraph plan, which is good. Try to make links inside paragraphs smoother so ideas flow more naturally.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use linking words well, but you use many basic ones like firstly and secondly. Mix them with other simple link words like also, because, so, and while.
task response
For task response, you answer the full question and discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph stays on one main idea, so the essay is easy to follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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