The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Although
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people
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want to advance
science
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, we must remember that the main purpose of
science
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should be to improve human life. I completely agree with
this
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statement because scientific developments provide many benefits to society.
For example
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,
people
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can stay healthy through cutting-edge medical
technology
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, and they can
also
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improve their economic situations by using
technology
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to develop their businesses.
Firstly
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,
science
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has improved the medical industry significantly. When
people
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face serious health issues, they can benefit from modern treatments,
such
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as advanced cancer therapies, which are essential for helping
people
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stay healthy.
Therefore
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, living standards have increased so that
people
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can live longer than they did in the past.
For example
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, my uncle, who was a cancer patient, received modern cancer treatment and was treated using advanced medical equipment.
As a result
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, he completely recovered from his illness.
Moreover
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, if individuals want to improve their economic situations, they can make use of modern
technology
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, even though they may face several challenges. Artificial Intelligence has been developing rapidly in recent years, so that many daily tasks can be completed more efficiently.
For example
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, my university friends created a new Artificial Intelligence system called "Faraa", which was designed to manage business activities and increase profits.
This
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technology
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helped businesses improve their performance and operate more effectively. In conclusion, despite these developments, we should remember that the main purpose of
science
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is to enhance
people
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's lives.
Although
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technology
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provides many advantages, it can
also
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be used in harmful ways if it is not managed properly.
Nevertheless
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,
science
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offers solutions when
people
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face various problems, and
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therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
it should continue to be developed for the benefit of humanity.

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task response
Make your main answer even more clear all through the essay. You say you fully agree, but the end talks a lot about bad uses of science. This makes your position a bit less strong.
task response
Add one more clear reason why science should improve life, or explain your two reasons more deeply. This will make your ideas more full.
task response
Your examples are good, but they are very personal. Try to add one wider real world example too, such as vaccines or clean energy.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. To make it better, link the ideas between body paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Some link words are used well, but a few are not the best choice, like 'despite these developments' in the conclusion. Use simpler links that match your meaning more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph focused on one main idea, then explain it step by step. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a strong opinion in the introduction.
task response
Both body paragraphs stay on the topic of how science helps people.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, especially in health and business.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well organized with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow in most parts of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic link words like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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