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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that university education is essential if people have a successful life, while others think that nowadays this is not true. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

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Some people argue that a
university
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education
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 is essential for achieving
success
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 in life,
whereas
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 others believe that it is no longer necessary in today’s world.
This
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 essay will examine both perspectives before explaining why I believe that,
although
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 higher
education
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 remains valuable, it is not the only route to
success
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. Those who support
university
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education
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 often point out that it provides individuals with
specialized
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specialised
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 knowledge and professional qualifications. In many fields,
such
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 as medicine, law, and engineering, a
university
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degree
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 is a basic requirement for employment.
Furthermore
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, higher
education
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 helps students develop critical thinking, communication, and problem-solving skills, all of which are highly valued in the workplace.
As a result
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, graduates frequently enjoy greater career opportunities and higher earning potential than those without formal qualifications.
However
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, others contend that
success
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 does not necessarily depend on obtaining a
university
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degree
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. In recent years, technological advancements have made knowledge more accessible than ever before. People can acquire practical skills through online courses, vocational training, and hands-on experience.
Moreover
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, many successful entrepreneurs, business owners, and creative professionals have achieved remarkable accomplishments despite lacking a
university
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education
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. In
such
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 cases, determination, innovation, and real-world experience may be more important than academic credentials. In my view,
university
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education
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 continues to offer significant advantages, particularly for professions that require extensive training and certification.
Nevertheless
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, it would be misleading to suggest that a
degree
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 alone guarantees
success
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. In an increasingly competitive and rapidly changing world, qualities
such
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 as adaptability, perseverance, and practical expertise are equally important.
Therefore
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,
while
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 higher
education
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 remains a valuable asset, it should be regarded as one of several possible pathways to achievement rather than the only one. In conclusion,
university
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education
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 can provide knowledge, qualifications, and career prospects that contribute to
success
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.
However
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, many individuals are able to achieve their goals through alternative routes. I believe that
success
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 ultimately depends on a combination of
education
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, skills, and personal effort rather than on a
university
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degree
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 alone.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your view clearly. To be even better, add one more real and clear example for each side.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear and on topic. Try to explain one point a little more deeply, not only state it.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. Each paragraph has a clear job. To improve more, use a few more linking words with care, such as 'for example' or 'in contrast'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your start and end are strong. To reach the top, make some links between sentences smoother by using key words from the question.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas stay focused on the main topic in each paragraph.
task response
Your conclusion matches your opinion and sums up the essay well.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • successful life
  • job opportunities
  • degree
  • pay
  • stability
  • field
  • entrepreneur
  • business
  • creativity
  • hard work
  • cost
  • debt
  • workforce
  • experience
  • valuable
  • skills
  • craft
  • apprenticeship
  • vocational training
  • trade
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