IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people hold that we should spend money and time on the protection of wild animals while others suggest that the money should be spent on populations living in the poorest areas of the world. What is your opinion

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In my opinion, people should consume their time and
worthe
Correct your spelling
work
 to help humanity first. howerver that does not mean we harm animals. If people have empathy for poor areas of the
world
Punctuation problem
world,
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 that emphesise that they have good hearts
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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 they can protect animals and
human
Check wording
humans
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 at the same time.
Finally
Linking Words
, both human and
animals
Replace the word
animal
 lives matter and every person should take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 that.

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task response
State your main view in a more clear way in the first line.
task response
Add one or two main reasons for your view and explain each reason.
task response
Use a simple example to support your idea about poor people and animals.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas into clear parts: start, main idea, end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, such as 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'in conclusion'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each sentence connects to the one before it in a smooth way.
task response
You gave a clear opinion.
task response
You stayed on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote a short ending idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas show care for both people and animals.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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