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Writing Samples
Band 7

People buy good products that work, therefore, advertising is unnecessary and is no more than a form of entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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These days, some
people
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 may buy what they need directly without paying much attention to
advertisements
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.
Therefore
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, it is sometimes argued that advertising is unnecessary and is only a form of
entertainment
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.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 statement because
advertisements
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 still help consumers understand
products
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 and shape how they make purchasing decisions. First of all, advertising can help customers understand which
product
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 suits their needs.
For example
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, when
people
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 want to buy skincare
products
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such
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 as moisturising lotion, they may find many similar options on the market. In
this
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 situation,
advertisements
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 or influencers’ reviews can introduce the functions, ingredients and advantages of different
products
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.
This
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information
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 can help customers compare their choices before buying.
Therefore
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, advertising is not merely
entertainment
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, but
also
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 a way of providing useful
information
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.
Moreover
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, advertising plays an important role in shaping how
people
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 value
products
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. Even when a
product
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 is genuinely useful, customers may not recognise its quality unless they have enough exposure to it.
For instance
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, technology companies often invite tech influencers from different countries to introduce new
products
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 during annual
product
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 launches. These videos and reviews can influence how
people
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 understand the
product
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 and whether they consider it worth buying.
As a result
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, advertising can affect consumers’ trust and expectations. Admittedly, some
advertisements
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 are designed mainly to entertain
people
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. Many companies use celebrities, music or humorous stories to attract attention, and these
advertisements
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 may not always provide detailed
information
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.
However
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,
entertainment
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 can still be an effective way to make consumers notice a
product
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.
This
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 does not mean that advertising itself is unnecessary. In conclusion, I disagree with the idea that advertising is no more than
entertainment
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.
Although
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 some
advertisements
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 focus strongly on
entertainment
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, advertising remains necessary because it provides
information
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, increases
product
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 exposure and influences consumers’ purchasing decisions.

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task response
For task response, your answer is clear, but you can explain your side more deeply. Show more fully why ads are still needed, not only helpful.
task response
For task response, your examples are good, but they can be more specific. Add one real or more exact case to make your point stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To get a higher score, make the link between ideas even smoother with clearer topic sentences and more direct progress from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences repeat the same idea in a close way, such as product understanding and product value. Try to make each body paragraph more different in focus.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and give a clear opinion from start to end.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and supported with examples about skin care and tech products.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, linking words like first of all, moreover, admittedly, and in conclusion help guide the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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