IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The main purpose of public libraries should be to provide books. Public libraries should not spend their limited resources on computer software, videos, or DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The issue of whether public
libraries
Use synonyms
 should spend their limited resources only on
books
Use synonyms
 or
also
Linking Words
 on computer software, videos, and DVDs has become increasingly contentious in modern society.
Although
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 there are different viewpoints,
this
Linking Words
 essay will examine both sides of
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, a significant argument is that public
libraries
Use synonyms
 should focus mainly on providing
books
Use synonyms
, which has important implications for education and knowledge acquisition.
This
Linking Words
 is primarily because
books
Use synonyms
 offer detailed and reliable information, which has significant effects on students' academic performance and research skills.
For instance
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, many students use library
books
Use synonyms
 to prepare for examinations and complete assignments, clearly illustrating
this
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 point.
Therefore
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, it becomes unequivocally evident that
books
Use synonyms
 remain an essential resource in public
libraries
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, another persuasive argument is that
libraries
Use synonyms
 should
also
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 invest in computer software, videos, and DVDs.
This
Linking Words
 can be attributed to the fact that technology provides quick and convenient access to information, ultimately shaping modern learning methods in a profound manner.
For example
Linking Words
, many individuals use library computers and educational software to conduct research and improve their professional skills, effectively demonstrating
this
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 claim.
Hence
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, it is apparent that technological resources play a crucial role in
this
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 discussion.
Consequently
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, the arguments presented above make it clear that public
libraries
Use synonyms
 should provide both traditional
books
Use synonyms
 and modern digital resources. If appropriate measures are taken,
this
Linking Words
 issue can be managed more effectively in the future.

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task response
Give your own view more clearly from the start. Now you say you will look at both sides, but the question asks how much you agree or disagree.
task response
Add a stronger reason for your final view. Say why books and digital tools should both be in libraries, and which one should get more money if resources are limited.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your examples are general, so they do not fully support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each body paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care. Some phrases are too long or formal and do not add much meaning.
coherence and cohesion
Make the conclusion match your position more directly. It should clearly answer the question, not end with a general future statement.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph stays on the topic.
task response
You discuss both books and digital resources, so you cover the main parts of the question.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources = not much money or support
  • public access = use by all people
  • at the center = the main part
  • meet modern needs = give what people need now
  • close the gap = reduce the difference between groups
  • deep learning = careful and serious study
  • quiet study space = calm place for reading and work
  • digital materials = online or computer-based content
  • free access to books = books that people can use without payment
  • job search = looking for work
  • research = careful study to find information
  • public service = help given to the community
  • keep a balance = give support to both sides
  • essential role = very important function
  • broad range of users = many different kinds of people
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