IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think students should not leave universities without good understanding of how to manage their money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 is
obivous
Correct your spelling
obvious
 that,
nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
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money
Use synonyms
 management is most important in
everyones
Check wording
everyone's
show examples
 life.
it
Fix capitalization
It
show examples
 is always debatable that pupils should not leave college without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning
of
Change preposition
apply
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the art of
money
Use synonyms
 management
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is correct
on the
Change preposition
to a
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 large extent if we leave some points.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 statement in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs.
Initially
Linking Words
, after completing
education
Punctuation problem
education,
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 if anyone is not aware
about that
Change preposition
of
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 how to manage
finances
Punctuation problem
finances,
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then
Linking Words
 it can be a great problem in the future in managing expenses during difficult times.
For example
Linking Words
, a strudent is in
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
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 institution
manage
Correct subject-verb agreement
manages
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 their expenses with the help of their parents
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they do not make much
efforts
Check wording
effort
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 to get
money
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 after the study they need to pay for all their expenses
such
Linking Words
 as car, health, food,
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
. If that person
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not know
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how to manage
money
Use synonyms
 during college
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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then
Linking Words
 it can be challenging when
person
Correct article usage
a person
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 does not have a job. Moving
Linking Words
Further
Fix capitalization
further
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, if a highschooler leave the college
with
Change preposition
apply
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knowing the art of
finance
Replace the word
financial
control
Punctuation problem
control,
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then
Linking Words
 it can be difficult for anyone to learn new
skill
Check wording
skills
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 after school age
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 that person is not in touch with the study.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some students start learning
finance
Replace the word
financial
 control from their parents from early age
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they do not
seek
Verb problem
face
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 any problem in investing
money
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is right that students should learn about the flow of
money
Use synonyms
 and about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control.
However
Linking Words
, it should
be not a mendatory
Correct word order
not be mandatory
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 that one can not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
leave any learning institution without
money
Use synonyms
 manage course.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Add fuller main ideas. Each body part should explain one key point in a clear way.
task response
Use a more clear example. Your example about student life is on topic, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas smoother. Some parts jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Start each paragraph with a clear main idea sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Check word order and grammar because errors make some ideas hard to follow.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about why money skills matter for students.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like 'Initially', 'For example', 'While', and 'To conclude'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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