IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people don't wear their national clothes, and the clothes look almost the same all over the world. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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It is observed that most of the people wear similar
clothings
Replace the word
clothing
 around the world and do not try cultural outfits anymore. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is negatively impacting the cultural
distintiveness
Correct your spelling
distinctiveness
 by instigating
inferiority
Correct article usage
an inferiority
show examples
 complex among minorities, and it does put the vendors linked to a particular
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
 at a financial loss or risk. Globalisation has caused massive trading practices between the regions
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
made
Verb problem
has made
show examples
 most
of the
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
individuals adopt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular brand
clothings
Check wording
clothing
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 has resulted in individuals getting rid of their region's distinct outfits.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the minorities could face pressure as the number of followers visible seems to be deteriorating.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Canada, the identification of natives continues to suffer as
they
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 young generation has relinquished themselves from continuing the cultural outfits.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there are several businessmen associated with a nation's clothing. The manufacturing of
such
Linking Words
 clothings are mostly done by local vendors whose livelihood depends on it. The decrease in demand can make them suffer
financials
Replace the word
financially,
 and it could adversely
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the
wefare
Correct your spelling
welfare
 of the country they are linked with.
This
Linking Words
 is because they tend to do most of the charity work or
contibute
Correct your spelling
contribute
 their profits within their community.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a riddance of wearing their distinctive
cloths
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
 can harm the
overall
Linking Words
 welfare of that particular community. In conclusion, people not continuing to practice wearing their country's clothing surely puts
a that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
that particular area in harm's way because they start to
loose
Use the right word
lose
show examples
 their identity or face
inferiority
Correct article usage
an inferiority
show examples
 complex, and make local
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 face financial loss.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Put one clear point first, then explain it.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words in a simple and correct way, like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas are good, but a few parts are hard to follow. Check long sentences and make them easier to read.
task achievement
You answer the question and give your opinion, but explain why it is negative in a more direct way.
task achievement
Add one more clear and real example to support your second main point.
task achievement
Avoid ideas that are too broad. Focus more on clothes, culture, and daily life.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You use a clear negative position from the start to the end.
task achievement
You give one example about natives in Canada, which helps support your view.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Multinational brands
  • Artisans
  • Erosion of cultural heritage
  • Practicality
  • Modernity
  • Economic factors
  • Uniformity
  • Cultural identity
  • Social perception
  • Tradition
  • National attire
  • Proliferation
  • Affordability
  • Comfort
  • Fast-paced world
  • Traditional industries
  • Social barriers
  • Equality
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