Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, children’s reliance on digital devices for leisure has reached alarming levels.

While

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technology undeniably offers educational value, excessive screen time detrimentally impacts physical health, social development, and cognitive growth.

Hence

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, I wholeheartedly concur that promoting outdoor

sports

Use synonyms

and traditional games is imperative for fostering well-rounded individuals.

This

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essay will elucidate the multifaceted benefits of outdoor activities, emphasizing their superiority over passive screen-based entertainment. Primarily, outdoor play cultivates indispensable social skills that virtual interactions cannot replicate. Team

sports

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such

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as football or basketball necessitate cooperation, negotiation, and leadership—qualities pivotal for future professional and personal success.

For instance

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, a longitudinal study by Harvard University revealed that adolescents engaged in regular team

sports

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demonstrated markedly higher emotional intelligence and conflict-resolution abilities than their screen-dependent peers.

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interpersonal competencies are irreplaceable in adulthood, where collaboration and adaptability determine career trajectories.

Furthermore

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, the physical advantages of outdoor activities are irrefutable. Unlike sedentary screen time, which contributes to childhood obesity and myopia,

sports

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enhance cardiovascular health, motor coordination, and bone density. Exposure to natural sunlight

also

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regulates circadian rhythms, mitigating sleep disorders linked to excessive device usage. The British Journal of

Sports

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Medicine reports that children participating in daily outdoor play exhibit a 40% lower risk of metabolic syndromes, underscoring the lifelong health dividends of active lifestyles. Critics may argue that technology fosters creativity through educational apps and programming games.

However

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, unstructured outdoor play uniquely stimulates problem-solving and risk assessment—skills honed by navigating real-world challenges. Climbing trees,

for example

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, teaches spatial awareness and resilience,

while

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imaginative role-playing games enhance linguistic and cognitive flexibility far more effectively than pre-programmed digital content. In conclusion,

while

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electronic devices have a niche in modern education, their overuse stunts holistic development. Policymakers and parents must prioritize outdoor recreation by integrating

sports

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into school curricula and redesigning urban spaces to encourage active play. Only by striking

this

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balance can we nurture a generation

that is

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physically robust, socially adept, and mentally agile.

022omkarshindeThu Jun 05 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your introduction presents a clear argument, but you could make it more engaging with a hook statement.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure every point ties back to your main argument clearly to strengthen the flow of ideas.

task achievement

Consider summarizing each main point briefly in the conclusion to reinforce your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a strong overall structure and clear main points that support your argument effectively, making it easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

323 words

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?