Fresh water has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand and what measure could governments and individuals take to respond this problem?

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The supply of fresh
water
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is limited in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
in the world because of a number of reasons. I believe the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
scarcity are the overpopulation and increased
pollution
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level
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levels
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, and these can be solved by joint efforts from both the
government
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and the
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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. As the population
growth
Replace the word
grows
, demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
fresh
water
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increased
Wrong verb form
increases
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. Fresh
water
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required
Verb problem
is required
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for daily life, like drinking, cooking and sanitation
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
; therefore
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,
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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need to be quick in solving the problem. As Authorities, they need to build awareness about responsibility in using fresh
water
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and conservating rain
water
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.
Government
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need to build facilities and
system
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systems
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to
re-cycle
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recycle
used
water
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.
Moreover
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, to level the
pollution
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, strict
regulation
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regulations
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about factory and domestic waste need to be created and implemented. Where
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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make regulation,
citizen
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responsible to manage fresh
water
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usage in their daily life. Small behaviour that can be done to help
reserve
Verb problem
preserve
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fresh
water
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as
,
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apply
show examples
using fresh
water
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in moderation to prevent unnecessary
spent
Replace the word
waste
. Using
rain
Correct your spelling
rainwater
water
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for non-consume need. And using
used
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
water
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that
not
Verb problem
is not
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polluted with
chemical
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chemicals
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for watering plants. Not only
careful
Verb problem
are citizens careful
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with how to use fresh
water
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,
citizen
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also
Linking Words
responsible
in
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for
show examples
maintaining
water
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resource
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resources
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. Implementing trash management in
community
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the community
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and introducing the importance to children in early life to help reduce
water
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pollution
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, I believe that the large
number of
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apply
show examples
population and rising
pollution
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level causes the decreased supply of fresh
water
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.
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Government
Correct article usage
The government
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and
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
have to work together to regulate
water
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use and control waste so the fresh
water
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that
available
Verb problem
is available
show examples
now will not be wasted.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You talk about causes and ways to fix the problem, but some ideas are short.
task response
Give more clear examples. For example, name one way a city can save water or cut water waste.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. Start each body paragraph with one clear main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are missing or not used well.
coherence and cohesion
Add support after each main idea. Explain how and why the action will help.
task response
You answer both questions in the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are about population, pollution, government action, and individual action.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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