taking risks in both professional and personal life is important. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Taking risks
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
considered important for both professional and personal life.
While
Linking Words
it can create an
unsatisfied
Replace the word
unsatisfactory
result
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
some occasions, I
belives
Correct your spelling
believe
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as it develops
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
quality of
live
Replace the word
life
and
career
Use synonyms
prospect
Check wording
prospects
show examples
. On one hand, taking
risk
Check wording
risks
show examples
can bring unexpected
situation
Check wording
situations
show examples
, which can
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stable income and
overall
Linking Words
well-being.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
who start their business may encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
challenging situations
such
Linking Words
as
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
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their income or get an unsatisfied result.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, it can
also
Linking Words
create stress as they can not control these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of circumstances.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, taking
risk
Check wording
risks
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gives
people
Use synonyms
opportunities to get
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
quality of life from financial stability and
career
Use synonyms
prospect
Check wording
prospects
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, workers who start
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
job can receive
high
Correct article usage
a high
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salary and benefits compared with
previous
Correct determiner usage
their previous
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company.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
are being promoted and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear
career
Use synonyms
growth in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
workplace.
To sum up
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,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
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taking
risk
Check wording
risks
show examples
can create uncontroll situation, it
also
Linking Words
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
individuals to enhance their quality of life and get better
career
Use synonyms
prospect
Check wording
prospects
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say more clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one or two more clear ideas in each body part.
task response
Use more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow with clearer topic sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with simple words like because, so, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each point a bit more before moving to the next one.
task response
You answered both sides and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task response
You used examples about business and jobs, which fit the topic.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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