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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, many people send their children to boarding schools so that they can have time to work. Do the advantages of this trend out weight the diadvantages?

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In today's fast-paced world, adolescents are sent to boarding
schools
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 by their families, allowing
parents
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 to create more free
time
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instead
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 of doing their
children
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's business.
While
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this
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 trend has some drawbacks, I firmly believe that a long-distance family relationship can provide more available
time
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 for
parents
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 because they can focus on their jobs, and acquire a new helpful skill, which outweighs the disadvantages. One major advantage of sending
children
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 to boarding school is that
parents
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 can benefit from more free
time
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 to concentrate on their jobs.
This
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 is because
children
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 always need external help in order to complete their homework or do their tasks. When they are not at home,
parents
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 find available
time
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 to learn a new ability , or they can deliver their task in the given
time
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,
leading
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giving
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 them
to
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apply
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a chance of being promoted.
For instance
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, recent studies show that in the developed countries,
parents
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 who send their
children
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 to boarding school demonstrate higher performance in completing
task
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tasks
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 than their colleagues.
Therefore
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, there is a strong link between sending
children
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 to long-distance
schools
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 and work performance.
However
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, sending adolescents to boarding school places a significant pressure on
parents
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' finances. Since the
schools
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 are very expensive,
parents
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 cannot easily save money for the future or afford to buy a new house or a car, which has a negative impact on people's happiness.
For example
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, in my company, there are some managers who send their
children
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 to boarding
schools
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, and they always complain about their difficult financial situation.
As a result
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, financial burdens have a detrimental effect on
parents
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' lives. In conclusion,
although
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 sending
children
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 to boarding
schools
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 has some drawbacks that create a difficult
time
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 for
parents
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 in terms of financial dimension, it has an extremely positive impact on success at work. These advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You say the good side is stronger, but you only give one main bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear in each body part. One body part should focus on one clear point.
task response
Use examples that are more clear and more direct. Your study example is useful, but it needs more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smooth way. Some lines jump too fast from one idea to the next.
task response
Explain why your points matter. Do not only state them; add one more line of reason.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion.
task response
Most ideas stay on the topic of boarding school and parents' time.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like 'however', 'for instance', and 'therefore'.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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