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Writing Samples /
Band 5

You recently did a short cookery course. The cookery school has asked for your feedback on this course. Write a letter to the course director at the cookery school. in your letter describe what you enjoyed about the course say how much cooking you've done since the course suggest another cookery course you'd fies sae school to oñer

#cookery #course #school #feedback #director #ve #fies #sae #oñer
Dear Madam I am writing in
respond
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response
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 to your letter about my opinion regarding your
course
 that I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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participated
2
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in 2
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month
Change to a plural noun
months
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 ago, and I was
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one of the best members
in
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of
show examples
this
course
. I would like to inform you fam so happy
according
Add the preposition
according to
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 my decision for
participate
Change the verb form
participating
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 in your training period. I
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 have improved in cooking kinds of foods because
your
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of your
show examples
course
. Now I can prepare
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of foods by myself
as well as
 possible. I can say I have succeeded
to
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in
show examples
 cooking almost
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
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 numbers of meals, and
creates
Wrong verb form
created
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 a lot of
surprise
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surprises
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 for my family. Sort of all of my friends encourage me to continue
this
 way in future. I would like to suggest
,
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apply
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 if you hold another training
course
 about making
dessert
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desserts
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, some of my friends are keen to attend
in
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apply
show examples
your classes
,
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apply
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 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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dessert is one of the most important
skill
Change to a plural noun
skills
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 for women. I would be grateful if you
considering
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considered
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 my advice, I
will
Wrong verb form
would be
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delight
Add a missing verb
be delight
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 if you you
inform
Wrong verb form
informed
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 me about your future courses. thank you very much
about
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for
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 your help in my progress. Yours sincerely All Saremi
Submitted by aksoysana on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a single main point. Use clear topic sentences and transition words to guide the reader through your letter.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to better illustrate what you enjoyed about the course and your cooking achievements since then.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your letter to catch small errors like spelling and grammar, which can make your writing more polished and professional.
task achievement
The enthusiasm for the cookery course is clearly expressed, showing genuine interest and progress.
coherence cohesion
The letter uses appropriate greetings and closings, demonstrating a formal tone suitable for the context.
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